Once again the pressure is on.
I know I can succeed in anything I set my mind to,
I also know that I will eventually hurt myself.
My main worry is that
Everyone expects me to be this great person or to do amazing things.
What hurts is that I just wanted to be happy,
Relaxed,
Or able to be me. To be free without judgement of how I like building Lego’s or thinking I can do karate in Walmart but really I’m having fun.
For once I would like to not be ridiculed.
Or have high expectations set for me.
It’s exhausting.
High expectations are a challenge for me,
Challenges I find easy.
Eventually leading to burnout.
Then all of sudden I’m just a lazy ***.
There really is no pleasing anyone.
Only if I work myself to death exceeding any and all expectations.
Only if I push myself way beyond the normal persons breaking point and I just smile while I’m dead and rotting inside.
Sleep is fine,
Dreams are annoying.
Sleep is nice because I don’t have to hear the daily expectations.
I don’t have to mask my energy and act normal like everyone else.
Eventually I know I will break.
I just hope everyone sees that this is what happens when you expect the most from the one who will do it without hesitation.
It’s almost cruel yet they will never know because if they did then they would feel bad.
And that’s annoying.
I hate being blamed when all the signs where there,
They just can’t see them and choose to ignore the smallest ones they can see.
It’s a blessing and curse,
Being NeuroDivergent.
It’s something no one seems to understand,
I truly am…
Alone…