the idea that i wasn't going to MILK IT... i.e. the subject
matter is unimaginable:
of course i was!
esp. after inheriting a past where:
a poet's life was more interesting than his outpourings?
who? who not beside Ted Hughes?!
            **** sake's... even John Berryman was having
some proper action...
    like Charles Olson lived through... it was a car crash,
wasn't it?
   at work i was asked what else i do?
oh... i write poetry... ha ha... so you must have it
good with the ladies?
seriously?! does this look like the 20th century?
       yeah... last one tried to accuse me of being drunk
on the job... she tried to undermine my good reputation:
and it was her first shift...
sure... i fancied her... i "*****" myself into her house...
blah blah... ****** way of showing someone you like
them... by... undermining their work-ethos...

no wonder i prefer the clarity of transactions...
                      why bother buying dinner... buying coffee...
buying a cinema ticket, buying an art gallery ticket?
buying into a MAYBE...
**** me... but the certainty... go to an art gallery alone...
given that the girls that do go to art galleries
are too ******* Victorian prune anyway...
they might as well be wearing a ******* NIQAB...

oh well, oh well well well...
i wouldn't prescribe a Christian monotheism on anyone,
maybe that's why i succumb to the pagan
poets more and more and ever more...
maybe monogamy is truly alien to me...
maybe i should own a harem...
            i'm testing the waters... unlike those:
hard-believers in the promises of Islam...
you blow yourself up... you get 72 virgins...
i was always of the persuasion:
either give me 72 prostitutes or 72 rottweilers...
there's no in between...
       i abhor the idea of 72 virgins...
i mean: ever ****** a ******?
    it's like a jaw that non-mandible...
it's like ******* a mannequin...
     it's horrible... ******* a ****** is a bit like
hugging a tree...
     it's horrid... it's un-spec-ta-cu-lar...

            the ******* i just had? it wasn't by my own
design... one of the girls had a...
ugh... i hate American-English... the stress for
acronyms, stemming from U.S.A. -
more like... F.S.A. - federal states of america...
united my ***... united as a cultural export...
the states aren't united... there's a federal gloom
hanging over them...

but this one ***** was having a F.O.M.O.:
fear of missing out...
       i realised it when she was gagging me to ****
her... and i got a limp ****...
because the one i chose had these endearing eyes
like: there's an extra that i don't want to be
present... i smoked a cigarette and i immediately
returned to a pulsating arousal while
i snuggled up to her while she was giving
me a hand-job... having realised:
yes... you need to pull that ******* back...
i don't need to be circumcised...
just pull it back... oil your hand and do your
"magic"... i snuggled up to her...
while the party pooper was left with massaging
my ***** and giving up her ******* for
a makeshift ****** into which i would
*******...

how do i know? the party pooper took a shower...
i took a shower afterwards, too...
and as i was dressing back into my attire of
black trousers, black shoes, white shirt...
black clip-on tie... the girl i really wanted...
the girl i was whispering Enigma war crimes with
stood behind me... invisible behind my body...
massaging my back...
        
threesomes are a load of *******...
the 2nd girl wasn't really invited...
she only ***** an invite... i can't concentrate on
being ****** off while suckling on *******...
i would rather watch someone having a *******
than having a *******...
but i guess you have to have had one
to know the difference...

who's Jonathan?
oh... this black guy i started talking to after i left
the brothel... he was being dried-out from money
by these two white girls
who... became stranded in Goodmayes even though
they lived in... ******* Thurrock...
which is north-east of Upminster...
well... neither of us were going to give them a break...
some Pakistani **** gangs were probably going
to swallow them up...

thanks... for being rejected this many times...
i gave Jonathan some of my brandy:
since he asked... and we... chatted about life...
on the bus... he asked for my number,
i gave it to him... let's meet up for drinks... sure...
i did check the girls out...
i walked back to Jonathan:
**** me... #metoo... just waiting, apparent...
they say they're 18... yeah... ha ha...
and i was willing to house them in my bed...
while i might sleep on the floor...
but... then again: the good Samaritan died in me
a long time ago...
i thought it was obvious... the general
idea of ****** favours for... say...
why wouldn't you get a free roof over your head
and a breakfast for "free"?

     right... the march of the Salvation army... yeah yeah...
*******!
i'm shredding...
  i wasn't... so why should you?!
eye for an eye...
              i abhor Christianity...
it's ******* femininity...
                                  i have nothing to defend!
nothing!
             what i do have is siding with the ****'ite Muslims...
or... spearheading a 2nd Islamic schism
with the Turks... the Sunnis are ******...
******! always side with the minority faction!
cousin *******, perhaps, hopefully: twice-removed...
nonetheless: cousin-*******...
it's almost as if they were eating pork in secret...
eh... cousin-******* confuses them...
they think eating pork is bad...
but... abominations in Darwinism is, hey! ******* o.k,!
PORK = BAD... INBREEDING = GOOD...
o.k.
so we're basically dealing with: RETARDS...
emotionally damaged goods...
retards... god makes dinosaurs... bad...
god the meteor blah blah...
god makes pigs... also bad...
but ******* your cousins?! good... because...
"hurt emotions"... emotions like emojis...

to hell with it... i'm lining up... i'll even **** on the crucifix
prior... get it soaking wet... like a Muslim girl's ******
after she's been told that she doesn't have
to **** her uncle...
      the tremors of the cult of death?
come come... come... i'm grizzly in clenching my
teeth with anticipation... come come!

there is an Islam i truly respect...
it's ****'ite orientated...
it's Persian in nature... it's Turkish in its
cosmopolitanism...
the other crap?
like Protestants undermining the sexuality
of Catholics... or rather...
being jealous of the hypocrisy of the ***
of Catholics...
                          i don't need to respect camel jockey
procrastinations...
       spine-bending antics of prayer...
who said?
                 come come...
i have a death-wish... you tell that to anyone...
wow... oddly enough they retract all their
arguments... their upheaval of emotions...
you tell someone... calmly:
    i have a death-wish...
                         they cower like little *******
and never return to make your life
more / less entertaining.