argh! phew!

    i hate my life... i was just vacuuming my house...
i'm sitting on Nicholas II banknotes...
and gold coins!

yes! the Tsar's!

       i could be worth up to half a million if i exposed
my possessions...
i own two books that disintegrated in my
hands... because i dared to touch them:
the beauties of Sterne... 1811...
printed for J. Walker...

an 1829 edition of something by Erasmus...
no go zones?
what the **** is that?
i'm about to scout into Barking for a hotel...
she had a late shift...
i'll let her sleep some more...

Erasmi: Colloquia...

            no go zones my ***...
i hide my wealth...
  i'll mingle with the other immigrants...
i'll **** a Turkish girl like i might be *******
a blonde ****** too dispossessed...
i'm not waiting: life's not about waiting...
life's not about regrets...
to hell with European romanticism...
to hell with European science...

i need hunger: i need fasting!
i need amen...
        i need an undercurrent of ****
Germany!
    more subtle... more...
                i need to trim my beard...
i need ***...
           i want to eat off the fruits of wrath!
i am not going to carry these sub-Asian
copper-neck idle idols...
           no: not one can chew...
we're going beyond the protein and the fat...
we're chewing on the cartilage
and right down to the bone...
we're going to aim at the marrow...

no go zones? in London?
**** me... i'm about to impregnate Barking...
i'm done... i'm done with being told
what i can and can't do...

my turn... now i get to appease myself...
now i get to justify myself...
thank god that i'm not even remotely related
to the Anglo-Saxons...
i'll let the ***** sleep some more...
but we are going for a dinner and i am booking
a hotel room where i'll eat out a bucket's
worth of oysters of ****:
make her eyes roll... exchange
the stone of Sisyphus for a yoyo...

           grr... i'm maddened by a prison lust...
i'm breaking out...
to hell with these socio-normative constraints!
next thing you know i'll
be heard barking while i cycle for an auxiliary
expedition to find the hotel...

let the ***** sleep...
    i'll take her out for some dinner...
i'll cycle and burn off the limp-**** ingestion of alcohol...
not since this time
will another woman waste my time...

hell... if the africa-americans could sing the blues...
me? Picasso...
blue period, red period...
i'll write the reds...
            i'm done being patient... i'm done playing nice...
time to party...
   time to **** a woman's ego out
of her head...
   i managed so far... dragging her out of a brothel
and onto a date into a hotel...
now i grind my teeth now
i breathe with a force of a stag...
          
                         enough! is... enough!