Why would you ask me if I'm okay Don't I look like I'm okay And stop calling me Jacqueline I’m not Jacqueline anymore No, I was never Jacqueline, But I didn’t realize that when I was younger And who do I ask about my gender Don’t tell me God I have spent so long praying There are depressions in the floorboards from where my knees collided with faith But I don’t think I have faith anymore God doesn’t answer my prayers anymore Why doesn’t god answer my prayers? I know for a fact God answers my friends’ prayers why doesn’t He answer mine I think it’s because He doesn’t love his queer children I think God needs to go to a PFLAG meeting Or at least one needs to be held in a church so He can hear the words of acceptance echoing throughout his house Mom told me they didn’t know if I was a boy or a girl until I was born But I still don’t know Let’s do an ultrasound on the part of my brain that decided not to feel like a girl I must have decided But I don’t remember doing it I told my friend I didn’t feel like a girl, She laughed and said, “I know, you feel like a woman.” I told my friend I didn’t feel like a girl, and she said, “Not so loud, I don’t want my parents to hear.” And she was right, because at some point “gender” became a dirtier word than *** Because even though her parents won’t admit it, they wouldn’t kick her out if she was having ***, as long as it wasn’t with someone of the same *** And I’m in a same *** relationship with God Because in religion class they told me He was genderless But we still call God “He” People still call me she But I’ve never told them different They said we’re all created in God’s image, But I think I’m not Because God doesn’t make mistakes. No, I’m not okay And stop calling me Jacqueline.