loneliness preys
on those you would least expect
to fall prey
to loneliness.

he curls up
next to the people surrounded by people.

he sits down beside me
on the bus
the park bench
my kitchen table.

he murmurs soft reassurances
that are not at all
reassuring.

Don't Worry he says
No One Can Hurt You he says
As Long As You
Let No One In.

and
weak as I am
I listen.

guilt though
takes a different approach

I can feel him
when I'm alone.
At night,
face down on my pillows
he creeps.
soft fingers play piano
on my spine

the notes
reverberating through my ribcage
the metallic thud as they pound
my heart

You Did This
rings out
over and over

its rhythm
adhering itself
to the
unsteady
tattoo of my heart

until the guilt
is inseparable
from me.