Another day of feeling down
For feeling good
Or not feeling anything at all
Postponed phone calls
Radio silence contracts
Money to be made but left on the table
Without a way to reach it
It’s carrot and rabbit for me
And my present is torture
I know the thoughts that i think
Are representative of the state
Of mind that i’m in
That i never write in
Sober
I’m always high
That’s why it always gets confusing
When i’m a good mood or bad
Whether i feel like amusing
Other peoples comments on the internet
And taking them without a grain a salt
Reality starts to strike me
As something unpleasant
I’m unlikely
To find the time to write with present mind
And clarity
I can only find insanity
And that’s what troubles me
And angers me
Just the things from day to day
I have to question my productivity
And my ability
To do these things when i’m inebriated
If that’s what u wanna call it
I don’t know when
This verse will ever end
Or if i’ll ever evolve past my current state
Perhaps evolution
Is more continued ****** delusion
And feeling high out on the fields again