An After-Market Warranty for my Catholic Space Laser

             “...tremulous little people of dim intellect and hyperactive
               imagination...need that Wondrous Explanation that will
               quiet all their fears, thrill them with villains to revile, and
               never tax their feeble powers of intellection.”

                        -John D. MacDonald, Reading for Survival

The Great Texas Emu Bubble, crop circles
Power crystals, cryptocurrency
Jewish space lasers, messages from Q
Lizard people abducted by aliens

Enron, obey the science, the settled science
Chloroquine, tulips, herd immunity
Your Norton has expired, buy magic beans
Invoice #666 needs to be paid today

Your uncle in Nigeria is in lots of trouble
And don’t forget the South Sea Bubble