May 2022
I’ve tried taking this away cause it was too much
been at war with myself since my world was crushed
Tell me why a man with a good heart has to be so dark
& only feel safe when he’s talking through his art
it’s like I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m confused
trying to find a way to the light & follow the tunes
of happiness but each time, I come to a dead end
looking for my peace in these temporary non friends
who claim the same thing as the last person before them
& I’m stupid for given a chance or to even believe them
I wanted to throw life away cause it didn’t mean anything
do me a favor & let me join my family if anything
I know I’m selfish for taking away what you created
but the gift of words or being a loner couldn’t save it
a good heart turned cold being mixed in with the wrong world
picture perfect in your eyes but it’s my vision that’s blurred
So forgive me for not appreciating what you took the time to make
flawless in a way & it’s honestly my mistake
threw my life in the trash, the only thing besides my dad I hate
but I understand now that the greatest stories ever told
have the worst nightmares before the beauty unfolds
attached with a few storms from tornados & hurricanes
with the rainbow shining right behind the depressing rains
of life when the sun decides to fade away
& everything aligned becomes a disaster before we see the replay
of the carnage left behind when happiness no longer exists
with pain being the only way to end a story like this
Forgive me, for not appreciating life for what it’s worth
being blind by the lies, deceit, & the hurt
the disappointments led by false expectations
of those who cause harm without hesitation
using our fear of letting go to bring more misery
further making our self worth feel like an unsolved mystery
I stand here in tears as I plead for another chance to get this right
to embrace the lessons that come with life
never again shall I question your reasons
even if I’m overwhelmed when fighting demons
All faith placed in you through hell or water, my friend
as you guide me to peace & further protect me, Amen
been at war with myself since my world was crushed
Tell me why a man with a good heart has to be so dark
& only feel safe when he’s talking through his art
it’s like I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m confused
trying to find a way to the light & follow the tunes
of happiness but each time, I come to a dead end
looking for my peace in these temporary non friends
who claim the same thing as the last person before them
& I’m stupid for given a chance or to even believe them
I wanted to throw life away cause it didn’t mean anything
do me a favor & let me join my family if anything
I know I’m selfish for taking away what you created
but the gift of words or being a loner couldn’t save it
a good heart turned cold being mixed in with the wrong world
picture perfect in your eyes but it’s my vision that’s blurred
So forgive me for not appreciating what you took the time to make
flawless in a way & it’s honestly my mistake
threw my life in the trash, the only thing besides my dad I hate
but I understand now that the greatest stories ever told
have the worst nightmares before the beauty unfolds
attached with a few storms from tornados & hurricanes
with the rainbow shining right behind the depressing rains
of life when the sun decides to fade away
& everything aligned becomes a disaster before we see the replay
of the carnage left behind when happiness no longer exists
with pain being the only way to end a story like this
Forgive me, for not appreciating life for what it’s worth
being blind by the lies, deceit, & the hurt
the disappointments led by false expectations
of those who cause harm without hesitation
using our fear of letting go to bring more misery
further making our self worth feel like an unsolved mystery
I stand here in tears as I plead for another chance to get this right
to embrace the lessons that come with life
never again shall I question your reasons
even if I’m overwhelmed when fighting demons
All faith placed in you through hell or water, my friend
as you guide me to peace & further protect me, Amen
