Using the sky as my guide
and the stars as my usher
I built my stairs on pride
and taking one step after another
I thought myself untouchable,
I thought myself unbeatable.
I was unrelenting in my strides to become better
unfazed by all.
Well, almost all.
There was one,
just one person that caused me to trip,
to fall into a chasm so deep
that I nearly forgot myself,
nearly lost myself.
With her I finally stumbled,
and was ceremoniously humbled.
I was taken aback by what I thought was a star of a person,
as though hidden by a curtain
she dropped into my life
and in my heart….
well in my heart it just felt right.
But all the while I was enjoying her presence
a word floated through my mind,  
a word I seemed to dread
because I couldn’t understand where it was coming from,
No.
It’s such a simple word
that cuts through all like a sword
placing all ideas in a coffin
a word that’s used often
as a way to negate dreams
or sometimes, to save oneself from a mistake.
No.
A word I never learned to use,
a word thats held my mind with a noose,
a word that plagued my soul,
a word I refused to speak where she was concerned.
How could I?
How could I say no to my star?
To the star that left a scar on my heart,
the star that tormented my mind,
the star that burned my soul.
No.
How do I say no to the one who showed me what it meant to feel pain?
To the one who held the spotlight in my life for so long
I couldn’t see when that light became a shadow?
No.
It was too late to say no,
my heart had said yes too many times
my eyes had already looked into hers too often,
The only place for me to stand
was locked in the palm of her hand.
And even now, even if she doesn’t know it, there I stay, decaying.
Wilting,
Like a flower forced to brave the cold.
What do I do?
Where do I go?
I need help
Can I even be helped?
Do you think she’d help me?
Do you think she'll see me again,
do you think...
do you think she could love me again?