Once, long ago
I gazed upon
the world with
conformity’s eyes
and found it absurd

And I cursed existence
and my fellow man

I built a wall to defend
the tattered remnants
of the sanity I perceived
I still possessed

I built a wall that quickly
became a desolate prison
standing cold in the face
of forgiveness and love

I ignored beauty’s gentle bliss

I insulted love in the name
of an antiquated morality

Oh spirits
Oh demons
Oh harbingers
of what lies
beyond
perception

It was to you
that I entrusted
my salvation

It was to you that
I prayed in expectation
of deliverance

I begged for naught
but a cessation of being
to relieve the nightmare
of existence

In desperation
I grasped the reins
of intolerance

I drew the sword
of superficial righteousness
carving a swath of condemnation
through the ranks of my brothers
for the sake of a disapproving God

I wounded virtue in the name of heaven

I exchanged reason for faith

I threw compassion to the dogs of indifference

What pain has my existence
brought my fellow man?

My path to salvation lies
hidden among the bones
of those I once held dear

Heaven should not
exact such remuneration
for paradise cannot be
purchased with the blood
of hatred and the
tears of martyred tolerance

I will not kneel before
such an altar

Not again

Never again