it hurts cause i remember those nights when my favorite song blared on the ipad and i laughed and cried with you. i miss feeling alive while dancing around my small room, dreaming in color, not just in black and white. i feel the longing in my body to go back home- to you. weeks passed and i still smelled your scent in every corner, everywhere i turned. i remember happiness like it was some foreign good, so beautiful yet horrifying. i miss that feeling. the winter frost was frigid and i was miserable, but at least i was having fun, making memories. life grew stronger and stronger and i became weaker with a busted back. now all i want is my last year self back.