She refused to acknowledge the
abandoned carnival
that was her past.

A childhood stuck at a silent standstill;
all it took was the admission of
one
for the melodic music,
haunting memories
and porcelain faces
to come flooding
out of the darkness
and back
to a life of nauseating
nostalgia.

She instead preferred
to pack it all in boxes
and hide it
under a giant tent of
secrets
marked
with a sign that warned
“No Trespassing”
to probing eyes.

In the end, that’s all
they ever turned out to be.
Curious minds, eager
to pull her apart and leave her lie
in pieces.

Content to play the game of charades
and
disappear at the
midnight
of her lonely masquerade.

It happened every time.

And she’d learned her lesson.
She was safe
only when floating hand in hand
with her dreams.
In peaceful sleep
came the promise of the
future.
Whether true
or not,
it was the solace she clung to
desperately,
the arms she trusted to
break
her
fall.

It was the dignity with which she gracefully carried herself through life.