waking up today was always going to feel strange...
i was lying in bed for an extra hour trying
to cure the flu... i thought about how i was weaponized
over the past five days...
a walking tick-tock bomb count down...
what's this variant? the omicron? we skipped
a few Greek letters...
                i was going to do the usual chores around
the house... oh man: but the muscles ache...
i'm dizzy all the ****** time...
               let me regain my strength at the nadir...
let me regain my strength when i'm weakest...
tomorrow's shift out to be uber: gut (goot)...
           if China could play this game two years ago...
why can't i play the same game?
April-cometh flu is sort of abnormal...
            if China can play their little game...
oh... generous this microcosm of my... lax: approach...
it has to come as a reiteration:
classical Darwinism... looking at nature...
the sort of Darwinism that can't be incorporated
and invigorate human psychology... humanism...
everything that's not transcendental,
philosophical... looking at nature...
what a clarifying, cruel, *****...
   i like her already...
                only satisfies the strong...
she satisfies earthquakes and other sort of calamities...
it grins with sharp teeth in the dark...
it scuttles among shadows and hazards
with starved insects and hyenas...
      bless this dearest medium of realisation...
in my weakest moment...
   i still have some words in me:
thank god i'm keeping ingesting hallucinogenic
mushrooms for the time when
i'm diagnosed with dementia... prior to...
wound: fester... let the sneeze, slob and thickening
saliva in... come: the maggots... cleanse me...
like in the movie Gladiator...
where... the maggots are found to cleanse
the wound... by only eating dead flesh...
           at my weakest... i'm at my strongest...
super-spreader...
            no no... this is not how the game is going to
go... i'm not giving up my freedom...
no thank you... not for the past two years...
my grandfather deserved a better funeral...
i'm following his consolation:
keep your heart small...
         keep your heart small...
              sure... with what i'm infected with..
for someone like me...
it's sort of debilitating... to others who only digest
t.v. entertainment:
if must be almost death...
           imagine the hard-on of a man...
who walks like a biological weapon...
            i already mentioned this to one spectator
at a West Ham when he came to my defence
and said: but he doesn't want to wear a face-mask...
a niqab... next game? the rule was dropped...
the argument was along the lines:
but i have a deaf friend sitting next to me...
he won't be able to lip-read... what the steward
is saying...
                oh... not here... not now...
i like to wait... i wait...
                    i like waiting... i need to find my
whereabouts... my coordinates...
   i'm like a director...
         i need to know who the actors are...
who the extras are... who the technical people are...
but of course i'm not important...
isn't that the stressed message these days
when there's the culture of: fame for merely being famous...
the Thespian autocracy - which is...
ha ha... sure... less shadow-prone: more shadowing-stealing
equivalent to the Russian oligarchs...
western Thespian autocracy is like-for-like
equated with Russian oligarchs...

from an Iron Curtain to the Silicon Curtain...
to... the Glittery Veneer... of "stars"...
but i woke up and felt good lying in bed for an hour longer...
i tuned in... oh... ****... right...
Will Smith...
                 in defence of a wife that has...
literally no defence...
   no, no... i'm not going to be grilling the man...
maybe that's why i decided to have
*** with prostitutes...
               she keeps sending me selfies...
kissing thin air and the eye of dajjal...
i'm sick... like i said...
   i'm yet to reply...
                    but she's a ******* and i'm not
Richard Gere... and this is not:
pretty woman... and there's no spending spree
in clothes shops down Hollywood Boulevard...

how the lesson trickles down...
**** me... if i'm only supposed marry a fertile
gargoyle... so that... no man will touch her...
and all she can do is pop out more ugly
looking gargoyle offspring?
message to my genes: *******... die off...
don't buy into the psychological argument that
counters the reality of Darwinism...
the classical Darwinism of cruel: true: nature...
the sort of Darwinism that Nazis teased...
and could have got away with...
if it wasn't for their ethnic focus on the Hebrews...
they were so close...
but i guess... project: resurrect Israel -
alles gut... sacrifices had to be made...
                            
                      why wouldn't be impossible for me
to be with a woman...
and how much different is it...
  when you sleep with a woman who you know
to have multiple ****** partners...
you wouldn't... going to a brothel, that you're
sleeping with a *******?
              hey... she's the one sending you photographs
of herself... she's the one allowing you to have
unprotected *** with her... ******* into her...

oh man... Will Smith... what height? what low?
nein nein! nein!
we're doing Darwinism proper this time...
no point masquerading with a psychologism
of Darwinism...
man can have his ontology: but man will never
overpower nature:
like that Crowded House song:
            
    i'll be walking rot... i'm not going to topple
the natural order of things...
        whoever is left standing: is left standing...
the rest can be mauled... down...
down.... down...
                nature is: indiscriminative...
           i'm walking, i'm standing...
whoever is up to scratch... is... whoever isn't...
isn't... i don't need any honey cuddling
pillow talk *******... i've heard too much of
that in the past two years...
faking man overpowering nature:
without actually being able to...

   oh man... Will Smith though...
why have i been seeing prostitutes for so long?
what honour of a wife are we talking
about?
            none... it's painful to watch...
at least i know... the women i **** are bankrupt
within the confines of everything that might
be expected of me to take a stance of
protection...
i mean: i can't protect them...
if they're already a *******... officially...
what am i trying to keep?
my income... my expenditure...
hardly any mention of a relationship...
because there isn't any...

                   i stroke my beard...
i try to no choke on the joke...
             but let's be honest...
  Garry Glitter's song... Rock & Roll Part 2...
that's a ******* given: thumps and thumbs up...
can't argue with that me-lo-dy (m'eh-l'oh-d'ee)...

it's funny... not really... but funny nonetheless...
it's called the joke
of the waiting game...
you wait... and wait... until you're dead...
that's the whole joke...
       you're dead...
            you've been waiting: but actually
not waiting... because... what you've actually
been waiting for is... turning up dead...
which is the joke...
        you're waiting for "something" as the world
happens to your anticipated exercise of chaos...
but you're not waiting for that...
you're waiting for your own death...
and that's a slow ******* beast to roll...
        but that's the joke...
the world burns... becomes ultra-*******...
but i'm not waiting for that...
or: you're not... whatever...
         yeah... death's shy... it needs a pulse
of: inspiration... a pulsating wand of invigoration!

oh man... this is really bad optics...
lucky man type: and thank **** i'm not married or...
if men at the top are being treated like
tramps / trash...
what are the men at the bottom supposed
to expect? gargoyle brides with half-wit
quasi-DNA offspring to boot?
            at least i can give the Chinese kudos
when they mention attaching themselves
to DNA-engineering... great! play god...
figure out a way to be rid of these natural hindering
plotlines of disease!
personally... i like the Chinese application
of Darwinism... it's mythically ****...
it has nothing to do with the western take
on Darwinism via psychology via humanism...
it's an outright: ******* approach...

second thoughts on genetically engineering
food... but... second thoughts on genetically engineering
humans... it's like... you've discovered the power of
the gods... it's a bit like refusing Prometheus...
no fire for you! ******* retards...
because... the cosmopolitan Moses' highest
authority of the world: gravitates around
the crucifix of "hey-Zeus"... ******* retardo grando!
the emblem of man... ******...
celebration of a torture mechanism is man's...
pristine... revelation for the ages... to follow suite...
RETARDS!
                    sure... and where is Christianity most
expansive if not in Africa?

i already made my sentiments true...
the biggest troll in the history of the democratic history
of hell... came... in the form
of the lord of mosquitos... blood boiled until it became wine...
wine over-boiled...
then water that became wine... blah blah...
2000 years of the reign of hell...
it's nice... but... even i have some reservations:
too much of something that good is...
not good enough... because...
if you don't have any reservations in place...
eh... the immediate loss of fun... to preserve... "something".