Addicted to Love

She used to slowly caress my hand-

She would send chills down my spine-

We would indulge in white lines as ecstasy got us high-

One journey of a heart established in her lies-

In her eyes I could see the twisted world that she believed-

So drunk on insecurities highly clouded by ****

This is the devil’s disease-It is the devil’s fortune and fame-

In love with a substance-I became in love with her name-

Thin haired needles puncture love to my veins-

My heart would beat with tweak-

To the rhythm of the dope game-

The rhythm of the dope game-

WAIT-

What was all this ******* for?

Saying you love me as I lay incoherent on the floor-

The steamy smell of three and half turned to four makes way through my body escaping my pours-

Till the core of my soul lays alone in its own cold-

And what was all this for?

It was a ***** stained love as glass pipes held dreams of hope-

Torched lit fires turned ambition to smoke-

LSD became creativity-till the pits of hell were roamed-

And what was all this for?

It was for love-

It was for drugs-

It was my only way to cope-

Understand?

Under gram erections stood alone penetrating holes I’ve never seen before-

Moans of stupidity released thoughts I ignored-

But I adored the feeling of evolution elevating me to heights un-soared-

Where lands of all man reach limitations to explore-

My body begging me to stop but my mind is begging me for more-

Refugees and causalities lay naked on the shore-Track marks leak the scent of and all and out lost war-

And I’m still not sure what all this was for-

Maybe it was for the thrill-

The thrill of submersing all my rotten thoughts that plague my good will-

My will to live among humanity and grant myself the freedom to walk among all of G-d’s family-

But tragedy strikes at the heart of the lost kind-

Where bleeding bodies are buried by the sands of time-

Where a generational cry turns to generational screams, where a generation in denial becomes generational fends-

And bitterness soaks through her cream where lost visions of the future become a long distance dream-

And the subdue substance that once claimed me now allow me rhymes of exploration,-exploring things I’ve never seen never dreamed never thought I’d ever be another statistical teen-

But I’ve grown-I’ve grown for the ignorance-The ignorance of believing I can make sense of life and relevance-That the heaven sent failure no longer has remembrance and the continuous hell bent world that destroyed me now gives me a halo of sense and for the first time-things make sense!

So I set myself forward down a road of reflection, reflecting on things I meet at my souls introspection-inspecting deep dark thoughts that beat my soul to redemption and I question-

I question why I stand here ready to go hand to hand to prove I’m a man when all I really want to do is show her who the **** I am-but I can’t-

So I close of my angels and reach for the devil within and its plaguing me why can’t G-d see that I don’t want to live in a dream-I just don’t want to be-

Please-

Allow me ease-

As I dream of moments with my old love-with my old drugs-with my not giving a ****

Like why the **** should I care when no one else does-

So instead of the drugs I will pick up a pen and write a rhtymatic flow about the places I’ve been-and now-the only addiction I have is writing my hymns-

For the hell hath no fury for the devil within but in the end-

Well in the end-

She slowly starts caressing my hand again man-

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