It all started out with a simple kiss on the cheek
She extended me a paddle to swim up her creek
She asked questions like "what exactly do I seek?"
You couldn't imagine this girl ever being a freak
Then fast forward to right around the third week
Wreaking bedroom havoc till we both can't speak

Woke up in the morning to some very gloomy weather
She had questions for me about starting a life together
I said I concur we shared many times of jovial laughter
But you must understand, it's called the morning after

She said I just know this is fated, as I patiently waited
She went on unabated that she was so absolutely elated
And as I awaited her words to finally become translated
I debated in my head the actual time that we had dated
The next words that she stated left me utterly deflated
"I'm positively impregnated, what a life we have created!"

I immediately froze still, All Just for one cheap thrill
All my dreams to fulfill, shattered by a ******'s ****
She was so normal up until, she must be mentally ill
Ok, breathe, just chill, think of an idea you can instill

Act like an ******* and really use some theatrical skill
"Now do you really think you're fit to raise a baby Jill?
Imagine our lives constantly fighting, climbing uphill
Always scraping and struggling just to pay every bill
Dressed in clothes that are straight from the goodwill

Plan A, the stairs over there, perhaps you have A spill
Plan B, is Breakfast and a morning after omelette pill
Plan C, is a Coat hangar specialist I know from Brazil
So what do you think? which is your favorite plan Jill?

******* Jack, I'm leaving and never ever coming back
Plan D, none of the above, The story of Jack IN Jill's love