You wanted me to meet you in the ocean but I forgot how to swim and I'm too busy drowning in you. You make me better but I still see everything as tragedy. I still don't think I'm ready to be human with you but I want to try anyway, which is saying a lot considering I don't know how to do anything besides write poetry about you. You tell me I'm special but I think you'll grow to hate that about me. I'll probably always feel safer laying in the grass than in your arms but I want to show you I can do this, I can want you as much as I need you and I need you more than coffee at 6am or cigarettes in the dark and I need you more than I need peace or identity. I always have the desire to ask you to run away with me because I don't want to find myself with anyone but you. Let me find ways to open my heart without scaring you, let me find out how to love you in ways that don't make sense. You make me feel like I'm dreaming and I'd rather not wake up without you. I like us more than I like the silence or distance or longing. I yearn to make sense to you, to be the answer to everything you've ever wondered about. I want to be so much more to you but I can't find the words to tell you. I'm drinking about you again, trying to figure out why you're such a big part of me. I love you and none of this makes sense to me but I don't care. Nothing needs to make sense as long as I have you.