title - skim-reading
body- arrogant...
something, or other.  502 blah blah...

i was going to sit down at 8:15pm and watch some
footie...
Liverpool vs. Arsenal...
i looked at my father dragging a work-bag
through the house... oh... right... new contract...
i did watch a bit of Dortmund vs. Mainz...
if he's not watching the match?
i'm not watching the match...
watching a movie alone... esp. a horror... fine...
but a football match? forget it...
earlier in the day he called me
a drug-addict... what? because i went mad
from smoking marijuana aged 21...
while there are idiots who do not discover
the mystic aspect of the herb?
no... no choir... no great wind to disperse it?!
that's not my problem...
a lot has happened since 2007... a lot more is
about to come...
only aged 35 did i try some *******...
here's to me being a drug-addict...
         sure... drinking aside...
should i mention that my mother: your wife...
is addicted to... ****** painkillers?!
who's the ******* *****?!
            he says... give me three reasons why you
drink excessive...
in your 20s...
weren't you given a house?
didn't you have a wife?
didn't you have a child?!
       apparently i'm not working...
i need to have a hammer in my right hand
and a nail in my left...
that's work... crowd management is not work...
the Hillsborough Disaster could have been
prevented by: magical ******* fairies!
the Manchester Arena bombing could also have been,
prevented: by magical ******* fairies!
flap flap! flap flap their wings resounded...
not that there were fellow Islamic fetishists
working as stewards at the venue: that might have
allowed someone with a backpack filled with explosives:
not even sneak in... just walk in...
oh... i didn't feel like watching the match because:
i'm no longer entertained...
       he zeniths with:
you're the reason why your grandfather (his father in law)
died early... so i retort...
seriously? ich bin TOD?!
           i am death?! **** me... i have my SHASHKA...
where's my horse?! let's get this Apocalypse
going... i'm starving to have some fun...
i couldn't possibly paint...
the canvas wouldn't be too blank...
by definition: i'm not a man...
no colour, no shapes...
           perhaps if i dreamed a little: perhaps then...
i reiterate... to him...
so if these women are into boxers...
             if they want to be first abused...
then... somehow... loved... enough of giving them
banana loaf recipes... enough of giving them homemade
wine... ENOUGH OF THE FLOWERS ON
VALENTINE'S DAY! ENOUGH!
let reality become as miserable as it must: become...
i don't even have to become as vengeful
as a Columbine shooter... i'll wait...
i'm good at waiting...
           i'll fold my fingers into a pseudo-fist...
prop my chin on it... and... just... wait...
              how often will you hear your father tell you:
you're the reason why your grandfather died...
"early"... 80+ years is... ******* early?
that's ******* lucky...
                  psychological abuse: schmooze... blah blah...
i can deal with that...
i'm always on the counter...
              anyways... nothing new...
life is war...
                 vita est bellum... get used to it...
don't get too comfortable...
   comfort erodes the senses...
        comfort: blah!
                     on your toes! up up up!
UP!
              i was the sole reason that nailed the last
remaining nails into my grandfather's coffin...
i'm a drug addict for smoking marijuana:
sorry... i didn't exactly choose to go mad...
      who was the first person to scratch his head
absorbed by thinking? who discovered
the process of fermentation to craft the first beer?
do... we even know?
but we know... who had their first thirst for
necrophilic architecture with the ******* pyramids...
useless mummified **** and all...
people who raised graves as high as the mountains...
obviously Africans... retardo-experimento-primo!
who needs a grave... that big?
oh i don't imply... the Congo or Kenya...
fair enough: no-seasons people... it's all uilateral
thoroughly... but these... Egyptian *****...
can i call them *****? death cult folk...
               stack 'em! stack 'em higher!
JENGA!
           death cult platoon... people so advanced
yet... so scared of their mortality...
that they might have to...
   *****... graves so intimidating it would take
the ******* of the Eiffel Tower to overshadow them...
imagine waiting that long... after the Eiffel tower...
all hell broke loose.. vast urban areas...
desecrated by the shadows cast by skyscrapers...
man learned to get a second hard-on... it would seem...
i became non-existent during dinner...
even though i made the salad... the three choices
of dressing... blue cheese... honey-mustard...
olive oil and balsamic vinegar...
               hmm... cucumber... cherry tomatoes...
salad... red pepper... an apple... spring onions...
   anything else?
and when you were in your 20s...
you had a wife?
you had a house?
you had a baby?
why do you think i want your wife's (my mother's)
manicurist to bring her BAMBINO
along her with? why do you think i want to...
play around with a toddler?!
BECAUSE I DO!
    something ancient, by modern standards of life:
forbidden is waking in me...
like... me... eating a root head of a swede...
nice crunch... i hit 40 years old:
i'm pretty sure this urge will die...
but... right now? it's wrecking havoc...
  just taking the bambino to catch some sunlight...
while holding her exposed naked feet to escape
the cold... but hey... if the women are after...
boxers... men that will abuse them...
nice reality... nicely done...
          Pontius Pilate me... it... just... makes...
my... life... easier...
   i can sort of "disappear"...
                who's to be blamed? who's going to
chant that infamous mea culpa?! me?!
n'ah ah... not a fat ******* chance...
                          god is cruel: the world is crueler...
get used to it...
       silly little idiot me...
falling in love... stomach cramps... butterflies...
it was never going to work...
during a ****... swiping left left left left:
yeah: he left... how many times will you swipe
left in order to get it right?
             single mum... bankrupt...
thank god for my stomach...
             it was nice... i ought to give more credit
to the dog... for licking the wounds on my knuckles...
yeah... the dog gets full credit... she?
oh... ***** can ghost me all she wants...
i think she sort of... misjudged her value...
now i'm cleaning up...
                     i'm not a banker...
i'm not a lawyer... i'm much worse...
                     i can be freed from earning the sort
of money that might allow me to buy: ****...
see... i'm much worse...
   not caring... is a weapon...
             i don't buy status...
   i don't... celebrate status by showcasing
hierarchical bypasses...
    i just stand next to someone with a disability
akin to cerebral palsy... and they... respond to me...
like a normal human being...
fiddling with their hand in their pocket to give me
a promised cigarette...
i really wanted to learn German with her son...
scheisse! die meisten alt laden auf hoden!
so i replied to my father:
i'm sorry... the idiots want to reproduce...
i have no magic wand to make them stop...
if i'm going to be nature's outlier...
      the thinker outside the realm of *******?!
well... so be it... i'll be food for psychologists...
but wait... the logic of the soul... what soul?
given there's no god? you mean... the sigma brigade?
sigma, i.e. the totality of man?
those guys... no... thank you...
                                         they can fry.