As being a mum to Sophie I worry too much about safety, every day I check the plugs, wires, count my meds, check the cooker is off multiple times. I can't leave my flat without checking for something or forgotten to do something important. I even check I got all my cards and money safe in my bag every morning and every night. The OCD ritualistic thoughts are frustrating won't leave me alone; I had them for a long time. They have got worst since drinking alcohol and since I lived on my own. My anxious mind just can't stop thinking about safety and it drives me up the bend. I feel unrested most nights I feel tired and cant recall much around me in the day; I can't really enjoy myself and be happy when I'm away from home the OCD thoughts cross my mind and hit me hard. My physchatrist told me I need to learn to switch my OCD thoughts off I need to feel more calm, write and color again and learn to meditate let them all pass me by so I can manage better and enjoy my life. I get paranoid and feel scared to travel alone down to my poor eye sight and other people can see I'm a easy target in the street. I just really want to feel free and happy have adventures again and go outside in the great outdoors enjoy socialising and visiting places with my family and friends; have fun with my daughter on the beach enjoy the sunshine. Learn to read books, do my writing and learn to sing to help me to create some more positive thoughts and memories so I can have a peaceful rest at night and feel more healthy and more alive. Instead of being stuck in my flat from morning to night I feel unsafe to go out anywhere on my own with the constant bullying and nasty threats I get I never cause anything to begin with or do anything wrong anymore must be just unlucky and have one of those faces and voices that winds people up all I ever do is mind my own business and enjoy walking the fresh air no one deserves to feel threatened in this way I just want to be free of being stuck in my flat this year and take that next step and go out more and be happy and smile instead of feeling scared and worried all the time that danger could lurk around me every corner and its worst for me as I cant always see that well anymore and I just want to feel more free to escape from the hellish pit of the OCD mind.