It was not an easy choice,
to say the least, I'll add.
But as it seems, boys,
my chair's the best friend I've ever had.

We've been through the lot
together. As if my final fate
was to sit and stay up late
and make cognitions hot.

I did all a man does with his time,
from eating, beating, drinking,
sleeping, farting and stinking
to coming up with this dumb rhyme.

That's why you've won the prize, hon.
You're the best, my lovely strandmon.