I woke up dreaming of you, as I've done a million times the last 14 years. I had given you another chance in my dreams, a chance to love me, and as always, you leave me. Even in my dreams my heart breaks. I don't know why I still dream about you or even think of you. Firsts mean a lot I guess. I have someone who loves me so unconditionally, in the way that I loved you. I remember that love, so deep I'd do anything just to keep you. I often wonder how you're doing now, if you've finally settled, and if you've found a love that makes you as crazy as I was for you. Passion really hypnotized me, I needed you endlessly and now I know I was filling myself with you to block out all the bad stuff that had happened. Even though that pain still exists from what others have done I've finally balanced out. But sometimes I still think about you, about the way it felt when you touched me. That was always the most exciting part. I'm going to sleep again soon, as one does, and I'm just hoping as pleasant as it is to see your face, that I don't dream of you.