title: Hebraic
body:
anti: antics;
clutter...
mostly tonsure
scalps
rather than kippahs... another 502 bad gateway bypass

oh my god, tonight is going to be spectacular...
it will be almost akin to
those times spent in Amsterdam when...
marijuana was forever legal...
and the village bicycle was spread-eagle...
fun times... i mean:
who doesn't like a woman that's freely
available for ***?
i don't... am i second, third? fourth?
in the chimpanzee matriarchy?
           no worries... i'll just find some side project
in between...
a branch of wood that resembles
a Cossack sabre that i'll treat nicely...
but... Amsterdam is still, just that...
firsst two times i went there to experience
smoking marijuana legally... without any
police paranoia in the back of my mind:
in England... third time?
i went there for the prostitutes...
                apparently you can never have
enough ***... not when i question my libido...
so i drink early, do the washing...
about to start the higher end custodian duties
around the house, vacuuming, washing the floors...
i might eat something...
****** off for merely a hard-on...
   prevented myself from *******...
****... i also have my *****...
    can't go in all furry-furry...
last time she ****** my *****... need to trim those...
obviously i'll cycle in...
20 minutes of extreme cycling does miracles...
i hope i ******... point being:
will she let me ****** without wearing a ******?
in her mouth? or inside of her...
it's ******* amazing how a woman knows
you're about to ******... apart from ripping into
her... when you're about to ******...
she knows... and when you ****** she wants to...
keep on going... to me... that's ******* amazing...
she literally wants to drain your testicles
clean and dry...
some might say: to have nice things...
things that might make people envious...
me? i'm more into banking on...
the memory bank... i want to have nicer experiences
to things... i want to have enough good memories
to prevent me from dreaming...
i don't want to dream... i want to remember...
i'll remember tonight...
   i'll dive into the mirror when Khedra
tells me to look into it...
it's not enough to merely have things...
more: to have memories... to have experiences...
i can't help if the English girls are playing
the game of a nunnery...
i don't want to wait...
     i'm done waiting...
           i put on: Tobias Forge's - House of Affection...
i sip my "juice"... the washing is already drying
in the garden, the wind ought to shake off
most of the damp left-over from the spin cycle...
sunglasses on... i welcome the night...
hood on... the day is my enemy...
i want the sickening prospect of...
i might not be a thief... i might not be a murderer...
but i carelessly don't feel like
i want to belong in the realm of:
pair-bonding with a... primary school teacher type
of a woman...
i think i'm way past that...
   i want... mountain climbing in the bedroom...
i'll give it one "dive"...
******* without climaxing looking at the photographs
she sent me... before i actually go and see her...
my priestess, Cybil, psychiatrist...
i'll just look her in the eyes...
speak by touching...
               oh... such the lot of life...
                     let go... Matthias... just... let go...
i could very much be dead...
old age... what a curse... i imagine death to be
more splendid... hallow...
i don't want to age... reach old age...
but old age that implies: no more wised...
dementia prone...
i don't want to grow old...
   i know what my "alternative" choice is...
                 even if... i asked her... brought a knife
with me... i'd implore her...
stab me in the heart... and let me kiss you...
while you're doing the act...
let life become exhausted... totally....
it will most certainly become a misery if i should
grow old...
tonight is the only night that should matter...
do some press-ups...
      how i'm more than willing to, simply... let... go...
almost akin to a Jihadi cult of Kali...
that i love life so much i have to love death
even more...
that i love women to the point where:
i'd rather spend the time with prostitutes...
because? i just can't be bothered to deal with lies...
with the "nun"-fakery of girls wanting
less reality and more: let's pretend...
        i will relish tonight...
like i might relish eating a sacrificial lamb...
like i might relish dancing before the altar of fire...
like i might... pluck one of my eyes out...
like i might: just have found myself...
imploding into the realisation that... i somehow lived.