Last night
I dreamt of you again.
In hindsight, it wasn’t a nightmare
but that makes me wonder why I awoke gasping for air and shaking.

Why I cried for almost a full hour
before once again drifting off in to a dreamscape that was all about you,
and my pain,
and my anger.

All you did
in the first scenario was enter my home.
I knew you were coming as I watched your
vehicle pull in to my driveway.

But this time
instead of crimson it was royal blue.

The last time
I saw you in this world
your head was shaved and you were well kept,
but in that world, your hair was long
and your face was *****.

Still tall as ever,
absolutely towering over me.
A presence so easily seen as intimidating,
yet I felt no threat.

As you stood in front of me
in the kitchen of my dreamworld,
I tried so hard to form any cohesive sentence
but all I did was stammer.

And just like that,
I was awake and you were gone.

I sat straight up,
feeling like I was punched in the chest,
gasping, with the wind knocked out of me,
desperate tears falling from my eyes
before I once again fell in to
a sleepscape where
you were present.

I have seen and heard
so many things that remind me of you lately,
and I keep trying to decipher if it’s The Universe
trying to tell me something,
or if it is perhaps
a message from
you yourself.

And I keep thinking
that if it is you, and you are bold enough
to contact me in my precious world of dreams
why you can’t just grow a pair
and face me

in real life.