loving someone with a mental illness is like falling in love with a deciduous tree. the tree remains still in the forest. it's always there but it's leaves are constantly changing. it's happy when it's leaves are a bright green, surging with energy, planning a trip, trying something new. when the leaves get tired they start to fall. turning from auburn to brown and feeling more and more useless the closer that they are to the ground. canceling the trip, losing energy, losing focus while laying there in the dirt. they can't get up. the branches are bare and it's cold. no matter how much love you show, it's leaves will not come back until just enough sunshine shines down. like sunlight through a crack in the window on a rainy day when they can't seem to get out of bed. eventually, buds will begin to form again. something beautiful wants to grow from all the love it has been given. in time it will blossom into something breathtakingly beautiful. so admirable that you can't take your eyes off of it. then you blink. and it all changes suddenly. the cold creeps back and everything you once loved is unrecognizable. you were like a deciduous tree...