Sep 2013
I remember looking into your eyes and realizing how I was now responsible for this beautiful little life, thirteen years later our connection is so much stronger, as cliche as it may sound.
Your are truly my rae of sunshine, no matter how dark my life can be with out a doubt it most definitely starts to lighten up the moment that you come around.
I've memorized your smile and each and every little freckle on your sweet face and only you truly know when i need my space and when to snuggle up close cuz i need you to stay.
I just could not shake the uneasy feeling lingering in my mind, I now wish that i had listened to my hearts warning for it must have sensed the tragic events that were still to come that day.
Startled and confused I am awaken from a deep sleep by a sound that starts off a million miles away and steadily grows, a lump caught in my throat as answered the phone.
His voice angrily shouts commands but all I hear the panicked cries from her, Mommy I'm so sorry I should not have taken them, Mommy I need you, Daddy stop screaming at me just leave me alone.
My mind turning completely numb I am not sure but some how I reacted: What hospital, When and what did she take and if you do not to screaming at her I warned, my adrenaline rushing as we flew out the door.
An hours drive stood between me and my sweet little Sunshine - Rae, I almost lost my baby by her own hand, my mind kept replaying her walking out the door for the weekend, as she turned from the car door with her scrunched up lil nose and said " No Momma I love you more"
Your are truly my rae of sunshine, no matter how dark my life can be with out a doubt it most definitely starts to lighten up the moment that you come around.
I've memorized your smile and each and every little freckle on your sweet face and only you truly know when i need my space and when to snuggle up close cuz i need you to stay.
I just could not shake the uneasy feeling lingering in my mind, I now wish that i had listened to my hearts warning for it must have sensed the tragic events that were still to come that day.
Startled and confused I am awaken from a deep sleep by a sound that starts off a million miles away and steadily grows, a lump caught in my throat as answered the phone.
His voice angrily shouts commands but all I hear the panicked cries from her, Mommy I'm so sorry I should not have taken them, Mommy I need you, Daddy stop screaming at me just leave me alone.
My mind turning completely numb I am not sure but some how I reacted: What hospital, When and what did she take and if you do not to screaming at her I warned, my adrenaline rushing as we flew out the door.
An hours drive stood between me and my sweet little Sunshine - Rae, I almost lost my baby by her own hand, my mind kept replaying her walking out the door for the weekend, as she turned from the car door with her scrunched up lil nose and said " No Momma I love you more"
It took me a while to even say out loud what happened that night.
Two weeks ago my baby girl was driven to her breaking point and thought it would just be better not to be at all.
I wish I could take on all of her pain and sadness because I would gladly do it without hesitation.
Thank the lord that she was found early enough and is now talking to someone.
I have explained very elaborately to her father that her emotions are just as real, intense and important as any one else's and should not be ignored.
We seem to have a difference of opinions when it comes to listening to our child.
But ther biggest difference may be I will defend, protect and stand behind my girl against whom ever wants give her grief I don't care who even him..
Two weeks ago my baby girl was driven to her breaking point and thought it would just be better not to be at all.
I wish I could take on all of her pain and sadness because I would gladly do it without hesitation.
Thank the lord that she was found early enough and is now talking to someone.
I have explained very elaborately to her father that her emotions are just as real, intense and important as any one else's and should not be ignored.
We seem to have a difference of opinions when it comes to listening to our child.
But ther biggest difference may be I will defend, protect and stand behind my girl against whom ever wants give her grief I don't care who even him..
