Wish people would learn to listen and take me more seriously
my brain feels I'm constantly walking on a tightrope;
climbing a ladder high up and this is just when dealing
with the normal errands of the day
that people take for granted.
Anxious thoughts often keep me awake
noises in the night from my daughter and
noises can easily disturb
my sleep cycle makes it so difficult for me
to fall asleep again wish the noises and thoughts                      

would just be quiet and all shut up at least                                          
at night that way I can get a decent kip                                        
and I feel good for once
I do wish I wasn't experiencing
any physical pains in my eyes
it wakes me up most nights too
the pain constantly feel like being punched in the face                  
and my brain feels drained and numb at times
it drives me nuts when the eyes feel so sore,
and fill up with water
this happens most afternoons
when the day light is at its brightest
if you see this happen to me then
no I'm not in fact crying
just that my eyes are in fact burning
down to being sensitive to bright light
the ADHD medication makes
me feel a little less sensitive
I often have to rest my eyes
ever so often in a darker room
through out the day otherwise
I get blurry vision and the constant pains
rear their ugly head
it can be agony and make me feel tired.
I often catch up on my rest
when I am able to                                                               ­             
its never a decent deep sleep cycle
I haven't slept like that in over 10 years
and forgotten what it felt like
getting a little better it
it will take time and I will recover.
Being told that "it is all in my head" even
by the very people who should really know me better  
really upsets me more
its like people don't believe what I am saying
and dismiss what I am going through
they don't see me every day
and don't see or experience the suffering
so its easier to dismiss and identify
as not being real.  
Its got to be something imaginary
or its "all in my head"  
This is in fact very real to me
it affects my daily life every day
even just to go outside walking in the park
in the sunshine with my daughter is difficult
I still do this walk half hour a day but I
miss those times where I can see properly
and wasn't in so much pain
its an invisible illness
it affects the nerve connections
in my eyes, ears, nose and face
other people can't see or experience
the pain for themselves
so often dismiss everything.  
I don't give up so easy
trying my hardest to get the                                                              ­
right support I need in place
so I can be the best mummy                                                            ­  
I can be and enjoy my life                                                             ­       
I have to learn to deal with
all this the best I can    
I put a smile on my face                                                             ­   
and get on with life
please learn to take
what I'm saying                                            
more seriously though
and know that
Its not "all just in my head"                                                    
just because you are not experiencing                                              
it or are seeing the struggles for yourself                                
doesn't mean the pain                                                             ­               
  I'm going through every day  
   is not in fact real;                                                                  ­           
and you should never                                                            ­            
make me feel that way;                                                             ­       
all that does is                                                               ­           
makes me feel so sad and alone.