what the **** am i doing?
i would never catch myself watching a soap opera...
sure... with my grandmother...
something Mexican or Turkish,
just to keep her company...
but an English soap opera, like Eastenders...
alone? while finishing eating a curry?
right, right...
well... this is all wong...
    i was just planning to cycle for some more
whiskey, but then i was like:
i have some left, i've eaten...
i'm feeling lazy... i did what i expected myself
to do today,
i'm not, going to sit up, till 4am...
thinking up ******* to write...
i still have some whiskey left...
how about i call it a night come 10pm...
the cats are fed... i'm fed... the bed is made...
i have a woman on my mind...
i'm watching English soap opera
going akin to: huh?! with a really puzzled face...
am i going soft, am i integrating
in the fullest sense?
no no... this can't be right...
maybe i'm just gearing up to an early night:
to wake up early tomorrow morning:
fresh as a daisy... maybe i'm thinking about
meeting up her, tomorrow, at 6pm...
maybe i don't want her to think that
i stink of alcohol: get it in early, son!
house-chores... cleaning the toilet,
vacuum the house, wash the floors...
sweat some of the poison out on a bicycle...
then go and see her...
think about what the *******'re going
to do about Valentine's Day...
you're seriously going to go through
the blue orchid? ****... where can i get a blue
orchid from?
wine, remember the wine...
remember the banana loaf...
fatten the kid up... remember the kid...
you got chewing... (burp): yeah,
i have the chewing gum... i'll do all my usual...
silly little *****...
   you're going to get ****-hurt in a few day's time...
sure... sure... but at least i won't
have my heart broken...
given... i don't really have a heart to begin
with...what do i have?
fleeing emotions... fleeting emotions...
sometimes they come, sometimes they go...
they're never around to be taken
seriously...
- then again, as a drunk, i get to catch the drift
of the affairs of men and women...
i might be drunk: but i'm far from
*******... a bit like zuì quán (drunk boozing...
****... drunk boxing)
now, come to think of it...
why are these single mums at each others' throats
all of a sudden?
am i seriously that ******* special?
wait... maybe i'm just outright spastic mr. fantastic:
SPA... SPAZZZZZ...
oh right... i have assets... i don't have
a mortgage... neither do my parents...
pretty hot catch... no children... no ex wife...
no alimony to pay...
loads of books... can cook,
can clean the house, can iron shirts:
hell, figured out a methodology to iron shirts
the quickest... can fix bicycles...
can be bothered about the garden...
good interpersonal skills...
can read and manage football hooligans without
inciting violence... the silent type...
right... right...
is sometimes big on listening to
Bon Jovi...
        walks marathons, cycles to Rainham
and back...
speaks two languages...
******* Eastender Exotica right there and then!
ha ha... hmm...
o.k. o.k., now i sort of understand
the in-fighting...
          yep, it's high school all over again...
what's that famous term?

ah... divide et impera...
   divide and conquer...
  obviously though... the sceptic that i am:
i know this will backfire...
but at least i know... just about now:
why all the women in the workforce are
backstabbing each other: seeing which one will
come to the forefront...
erm... one has already won...
i don't see the point of the others trying...
but... that's not going to be that easy...
they'll be going at each other until
there's literal blood...

oh sure, that's fun...
what's more fun? my male maine ****
loves to sleep on newspapers that
i dropped on the bed while i type...
i think: he's "thinking": i'll be doing
that **** in my sleep... ******...
sure thing, Quorus...
yeah... you'll be doing that... while i'll be
meowing for eternity!
oh... conjuring up...
smoked salmon pasta...
you, *****, old **** of a worth
of 'uman;
   yeah... that's how how pronoun
gender neutrality has got you too...
you ******* 'unts!
'uck this... ***** whatever lot's
left as l'over;
f'acking sqags;
pretend butchers' boys.. little
silly pork-choppers chop chop...
'ere up... run a a round
on all the fraud that's going about
town... instead of language policing?!
honk honk in the blue...
honk for blue...
that's all you'll get...
the ******* salvation army.
bygone are the days when you'd hate
the police for simply being the police...
welcome the days when you hate the police:
for not doing the job of: the ******* police!
up your with the Yankee Wankee ****...
******* blue riddle sorts...
what are you?  a ******* metaphorical:
pick-up... need a female cyborg for 'elp?!
yeah... **** that... blue ******* ribbon...
you need that... next time someone in the citizentry
showcases more authority that
you silly ***** ever will, or could!

wow... look at me... i must have been
drinking or something...
CITIZEN... CI-TI-ZEN-RY...
    or... right... the added T..
citizenry... no wonder it's underlined...
like a spelling mistake...
which it was...
           what.... looking for?! ha.... ha ha.