Come, nihilistic compulsion,
Come, bitter bottom of the glass,
Come, looking like a bitter ass,
Come, solipsistic mirror!
I have seen you rise a thousand times
And seen you, wise, with wiser rhymes
Arise with wild eyes frightened, high,
Suspended on a riser over night.
Full-faced, without the spatter
Mattering, disgraced distasteful
Patter, battered, left to fry
Inside a lake of fire.
Stained. Unchanged. I've faced you.
Cast your gaze upon unblessed night,
Your desecration burning bright,
Reflected rays directed -
But I chase you. I'll outpace you,
Race you down to where the emptiness
Can scrape the chalk dust off the slate.
I scrape and scratch and can't erase you.
I can't write without you and I don't know
Why I doubt you and I can't say much
About the way your touch, so sweet and mean,
Coats me with gasoline. I can't ignite
Without you and I
Lose my light without
You, empty night so bright
With rays I recognize
Comprise you.