i don't even know what this is, this is...
some guys rate girls on a scale of 1 to through to 10...
they mention the "friend zone"...
erm... what about the.... ahem: "dad zone"?
i've just experienced the "dad zone"...
sorry, what?! exactly...
i sort of feel bad writing about this,
but i'm not going to pile **** on this girl...
3 days of a stomach cramps and what
the **** happened to me...
lies with coworkers... blah blah: sneaky
******* whatever(s)...
forget the heart: make it stone...
follow your gut... your guts...
no... tomorrow her son is going to eat
a mango curry... i have two ripe mangoes...
i'm not going to eat them...
he's not having chicken nuggets...
merely chicken nuggets on my watch...
yeah... this is the "dad zone"...
whatever dating lingo is left available...
i'm in love with her...
bonus? she's older than me...
so... chances are... she might die at the same time
as me...
and **** me... she's ginger...
that whiskey sort auburn burning light...
by alternative to the Bible text of a...
"woman dressed in the sun"...
which part of the sun? sunrise, sunset or full
noon glare blonde? i prefer
the sunset sort of highlights... of hair...
how simple was that?
an issue of trust... sure, i said... i'll be doing some
night cycling... like that r.e.m. song:
but that's about night swimming...
you, serciously, you're not familiar with
the movie: Sunset Boulevard?!
you're kidding me?, right?!
she opened a corker, i rolled a cigarette,
then a second... remarked... oh... looks like not out
of practice... a perfect rollie...
what were we drinking? ****** pseudo-champagne...
we have a date for tomorrow...
i'm bringing my homemade stuff...
20 minutes before texts...
i replied: i'll be 20 minutes from where you'll be...
you're going to be walking your dog?
as i came up she thought that i'd be
shy... cycle pass... that she could simply
get away with a wave...
woman... you're not getting off that easy...
so i cycled back and walked with her to her
home... we talked...
her dog Woody was... ahem...
a complete and utter pervert...
kept licking my ears...
but then again... he licked off the scabs on
my knuckles clear off...
i lied... a white lie...
is anyone ever expected to say:
yeah, i put out cigarettes on my knuckles,
it's a ******* thrill i''m urged to
sometimes partake in...
no... i was making pizza... d'uh...
i'm not even thinking about ******* her...
i'm thinking about her son...
Fredrick, Freddy, we talked about school...
about spelling... i read a poem he wrote out-loud...
i admired his and his mum's construction
of a world war II bomb bunker...
he told me about learning about war poetry...
so, world war I stuff, all the poppy fields etc.?
at the age of 9 he was instructed to learn about autism...
i told him...         read a little about
SOLIPSISM... i even wrote it on a piece of
paper for him...
from the age of 7... through to the age of 9...
wow! your handwriting ... it's exponential!
she said, what's that?
he corrected her... i reiterated... it's not linear...
it just exploded!
he complained about writing by joining
letters... but he said: joining words...
letters, Freddy... yeah... but look how we've
been doing writing over the past 30 years...
QWERTY... we're typing...
no one really deciphers handwriting...
the dog? licked my ears and the wounds on
my left hand's knuckles right off: clean...
i bled for a while...
if this is modern dating: i still smell of dog licks...
i better go up to my two maine *****
and inquire whether i might,
somehow, still pass off as human...
well obviously tomorrow i will be better attired...
hell: if it comes to ironing a shirt...
the rest of the "office" can *******...
i'll take my chances... if she's this supposed mad *****...
you don't even know where i'm coming
from... ha... ha ha...
i'm nice... i'll play nice...
but then... no... Matt... Matthew... don't do that
crap of taunting for seeking attention
and male-authoritaraship - authoritariship?
what the ****?! 5 google search results...
and i come up? o.k., o.k. i know it's a spelling
mistake... author-i...
           **** it...

what a magnificent date... in her own home...
with her dog, with her son...
we shook hands while parting...
hello "dad zone".. i'm not here for ***...
if i want ***... i can just go ******* to a brothel...

she even texted me...
you forgot your hat...
oh... right... the one i found at a bus stop...
with the pompom...
    Woody (her dog) in between licking my
ears and the scabs on my knuckles was
desperate to bite, bite... bite at it:
Gemma wants to keep it! keep it!
dog "sign language" or something...

i was watching her watching the tongue of the dog,
he licked and licked t my scabs,
then got to drinking my blood...

yeah, i forgot my pompom hat....
i told her: you keep it, i found it originally,
it must have a mind of it own:
like that cap in Harry Potter... the one that
allocates upcoming students to their
designated house...

******* "dad zone"...
point being... i don't mind...
what has his spelling examination:
he's up in the highest tier...
fuchsia related...
some hue more subtle...

it's very similar... what?
going to a brothel or going to a single mum
household...
she's complaining tht there are not enough
books in her house...
Freddy, see you tomorrow...
guess what's on the ready:
Stendhal's the Crimson & the Black,
some Dostoyevsky,
Salinger? Huxley... Sartre?
Kerouac? Aesop? Dickens? Hesse?!

she's mad, sure, who wouldn't be,
if she's raising a boy on her own...
we're done ******* around,
i'm thinking... this boy... right...
i read a poem he wrote aged 8 out-loud...
i wanted to implore him:
please, don't become doing what i do:
it doesn't pay... it never did
it never will...
people want artistry for free
to begin with, to ever begin with it...
unless it's manufactured
superficial crap....

         i don't actually know what a friend,
eh? "friend" zone implies...
sure, i have a choice...
single mothers or prostitutes...
there are no friends in between...
i'm also ******* serious...
every time your ******* dog starts licking
my ears and my scabs...
when your child shows me homework:
AUTISM... what?!
sorry, what?!             you heard
about solipsism?!

the school pressured you to learn
spanish?                why? bully them back!
learn German...
German has a similar grammatical structure
to English... ich sehen du: i see you!
im Deutsche ist akin im Englisch...

      i'm outright in the dad zone...
and guess what... i want to be here...
i can play the ancient Roman game... is it a "game"?
is it?! i want to love this woman...
i want to grow old with her...
hell... i willl do my utmost to do just that!

i'm looking forward for her trying my homemade
wine tomorrow... what an auburn ginger burn
on the heart... i'm sitting singing along
to pop music... for ****'s sake...
clean bandit & mabel - tick tock...

                  no!              no!                ****!
             it's already happening!
no, wait, it has already happened!

                                                       ****'s sake!