I lost my first love,
For the millionth time
Then I woke up
It still hurts, like the first time, even in dreams
Wiping the cold out my eyes
Or are they dried up tears
From emotional scar tissue
Built up year after year
As I rise from bed
So do the suppressed memories of her
Like the raising of a purposely sunken ship
Buried deep, deep in the Mariana Trench
Then she follows me until the afternoon
Like a ghost in mourning, with unfinished business of this earth
A plague on my mind, like rain on recess
I can still see the layout of her fathers apartment
Perfectly laid out in my mind
Her and I, laying in her adolescent, orange sheeted silk bed
Quietly spelunking each others bodies
As to not sound the protective alarm in her fathers head
I can still smell her
Hear her
Feel her touch, in bed, whilst I
When I sleep, I can't control her
Time isn't linear
After we close our eyes and turn in
In my dream state
We'll still date
Jumping around from July 2005 to May 2008
But never again with eyes open
For I see a different person
Then when my eyes are closed
Skin pressed, rubbing of the nose
Our naked bodies and clenched toes