I can't stand it when people bite their nails
or when children grow up;
I hate to see grown men act
because, frankly, they are bad at it;
I don't like girls who are phonies
or guys who are flits;
I certainly do miss Jane,
but by now I bet she's forgotten me.
As all people will,
as I sip my fifth cup of coffee
and drag on countless cigarettes
and meet exciting hookers
and become a super hero,
I only think of how I like no one
and how no one likes me either.