I had to walk out of physics today, make my way to the back of the room shoot for the door with my hands on my hips. Just started pacing. I just stated pacing and pacing and pacing.
I followed the thin grey lines between the linoleum tiles with my toes counting every second I was out of class and weighing that against how many more it would take on a chance against hell to get me back in there again.
I didn't even know who I was then so how could she.
I could mouth off a good response or two and I probably embody every great literary character in commercial fiction that is the guy in the grey skinny jeans reading Shakespeare in the corner of the dining hall. Well, I'm not. I'm not some stereotype for your next creative writing assignment. I just happen to think my *** looks good in skinny jeans, I actually hate Shakespeare, and the corner of the dining hall has the best air conditioning. It's that simple. There's your answer.
But my fingertips were shaking and my mind was racing and there I was just pacing and pacing and pacing because this is *******. This class is *******. This college is *******. And the whole world might as well be ******* right along with it.
I never went back into class that day. Which ***** actually because I lost a good backpack and calculator, but in the long run it worked out alright because here I am writing this and getting paid for it, not that I'm greedy or anything (I get paid a whole lot if you care to know) but I'm writing more than just about that day I couldn't breathe in physics class.
I'm writing to tell you that there's quite a great deal of superficial things in this world and if you find yourself a part of it I'm demanding you leave. Leave your good notebook, your steady job, your filthy marriage. Leave it because it's actually true no matter how stupid it sounds that life is too short and things that are real need to be attacked and clutched onto if you want them to last.
I guess I can thank that institution actually for teaching me everything I never wanted to know, and for getting me to where I am with multiple publications, a book signing or to, a beautiful wife, three kids, a screenplay, oh and a big F U to those that said I would never do it.