this is hardly a poem, it's a precursor musing -
that i am planning something
in the range of 5000+ words:

- a transcript of Kierkegaard's
concluding unscientific postscript
to philosophical fragments -
a mimical-pathetical-dialectical
compilation, an existential contribution
(february 28, 1846) by johannes climacus
    an extract...
- a translation of Szymon Starowolski's
Declamatio contra obtrectatores Poloniae
circa XVI...

not to mention that i'm reaching burn-out,
not to mention that:
well it's always nice to hear something
from your mother that can bed-rid you
for a few hours...

it sort of reminds of those Pearl Jam lyrics
from the song Animal
'i'd rather be...
i'd rather be with...
i'd rather be with an animal...'

sure as **** he comes into my bed...
i've changed which side of the bed
i'm sleeping on...
i don't know why i didn't think of it sooner...
usually on the right...
now, sleeping on the left...
ingenious move...
the mattress feels cooler...
obviously less indented... firmer...
and... at least this 10kg bonsai of a tiger
is just sleeping next to me...
rather than lodging himself
onto my thigh and treating me
like a cushion...

but this is before the plunge...
we're supposed to be these barbaric people
of the north...
depictions of hunting mammoths
and what not...
em... aren't elephants sort of domesticated
in India?
when the great migration took place
from the subcontinent via mother Siberia
toward the funnel of civilization that's
Europe... didn't we... perhaps...
take elephants with us?

didn't Hannibal? so i'm thinking...
you're up north... you hear about farming
from Egypt via some wandering "wizard"...
****... loads of forest...
so much forest that... well... beside hunting
and foraging... nearly impossible...
i should know...

when my next door neighbour put up a new
fence... the gardener / fence "expert" cut out
most of the vegetation from my garden so
it would be easier to put the fence up:
including my beautiful rosemary bush
'oh, didn't know' -
you pair rosemary with lamb! England
is famous for its ******* lamb!

- on a side note... you'd have to watch a
video by... Refika's Kitchen...
Turkish lavash / beef recipe...
with that onion side salad...
rosemary also works miracles with beef
with a side dish of sumac onions
and that cucumber yoghurt dip
(****, what's it called... tzatziki?!)...
yummy yummy thank you: not my mummy...
me!

anyway... he cut all the bushes, foliage, etc.
but... ha, ha... ha...
oh i had all the right tools...
a mechanical saw, a chainsaw...
a manual saw... a shovel... a small shovel...
a large fork... a small fork...
it took me about 3 months to clear the earth
from roots along the length of the entire garden...
we're talking 30 metres (circa)...
at least... ****... maybe 50 metres...
we're talking roots sometimes just a metre
apart... sometimes digging up a root would
take me... 5 hours... we're talking digging
to a depth of about 1 metre and coming
across the infamous London clay...

oh sure, Madame Tussauds - here's a mannequin
of Diana - princess of Wales...
never mind that the genius handyman
put the fence too high up...
my neighbour's **** garden was
doing an "empire strikes back" from beneath
the fence, morning glory was crawling though...
so i had to dig under the fence
and put dollops of cement under the beams...

great spring... so i'm thinking...
did we really hunt, mammoths?
well sure, we could have used horses...
we used horses to plough the fields...
now? we just breed them for spectacles: at the races...
otherwise... one of those species of animals
that have it: super ******* easy...
perhaps we used them to deforest areas
of Europe to create land for farming...
but... given the domestication of
elephants in India, given... Hannibal and his
elephants walking over the Alps...
personally? i think we used mammoths
to deforest this land to make
farming possible...
what happened to them afterwards?
what happens with anything that no longer
is necessarily used?
if it's a thing, it gets thrown away, or recycled...
if it's a creature...
it's usually eaten...
   perhaps a bad winter... culling of deer in Scotland...
for game meat...
but i don't think the mammoths simply "were"
out cohabitants in the north...
i suspect that we brought them over as elephants...
and by some "miracle" of Darwinism
the elephants mutated to have fur...

who's to say i'm wrong on this view?
Kierkegaard's conclusion to the unscientific
postscript will most certainly elaborate on
that...

both these transcripts will hint at what i have
already been thinking about...
objective thinking is "overrated":
no, more on the lines of: why is subjectivity
so wrong, when it's not properly understood
and only women are afforded its benefits
which become exploited in the most negative sense?

and... Szymon Starowolski's translation...
what i have already noticed about the English
tongue... but to think that this thinking was already
around in the world, in Poland, of all places,
as far back at the 17th century!

but to deforest so much land as to make it arable?
if we didn't use mammoths
then, hell... me must have used wishful thinking!
perhaps our ancestors had the power
of telekinesis!

so that the roots of old foliage have been dug up
by my hands...
the green party can ******* from me...
i also planted a fig bush,
a plum tree, two cherry trees...
an apple tree... a pear tree... o.k.?!
i'm done with all this carbon footprint *******...
i also moved the fern to a more shady
part of the garden... there's wild garlic
pulverising me with its scent that reminds
me of marijuana...
i reclaimed the rosemary... i have thyme &
oregano... plenty of mint...
a bay leaf bush...
                                         grr... i don't know why
i'm so... happily angry.