I am a woman, in a man’s body
with a ***** that doesn’t work
I have ****** the vineyards and the haystacks
grown a beard as long as a pine tree
the beard is downstairs
and it is joined to my hair
which is also long, flowing from my shiny head
I speak 500 languages
I cant read
I once slept outside my own house
in the blizzard of 93’ I fingered somebody’s sister
I even slapped a judge for being too **** ugly
but seriously, I’m currently jacking off to everybody’s mom
no no no, I’ll be honest for old time’s sake
my greatest lie is that I am/have-done none of these things.