i feel like a *****, all this "D.I.Y." music "therapy is
coming back at me with a bite...
i must have listened to
eyes of the nightmare jungle - shadow dance...
i stopped counting...
i truly exhausted the song, i exhausted myself
on the song...
i guess it was the accompanying video that gave
it the extra credit...
with that video of Wednesday Addams dancing
to the song like that guy
from the video: happy boy... the Bolshoi...
no... the black keys... lonely boy...
yeah, reminds me of that dance...
i have honestly overdosed on a song...
it's never good to overdose on a song...
you try to return to the song come the third day...
it doesn't listen like a Buddhist mantra...
something worse...
the black angel's - assassins' creed opening
credit song... not even close...
i had to figure out a way to bypass the algorithm,
somehow...
what's on the menu?
hello, rubric:

- dansderpartementet - niagara
   (heavy focus on the bass guitar, oh, you need
the heavy focus on the bass...
to somehow marry rhythm guitar with the drums...
i don't need "extra" drums...
i don't really need rhythm guitar heading toward
solo territory),
stand out tracks so far... eurolight,
(apologies for the diacritical marks being missing)
hander av spindelvav...
   syster hamnd... my guess is as as good yours...
i'm guessing German...

- paralysed age - tragedia nosferata (2006)
i'm yet to listen to it...

- iamtheshadow - everything in this nothingness
   (2016)

- immortal - salutat (1987), gothic rock from
the Netherlands...

just today listening to some classical music
on the radio...
eh... sure... Alexandre Borodin's Prince Igor...
classical music is filled with "accents"...
the rest of it? technicality... "making waffles"...
it's waffling... it's digression...
it's sort of complicatedly, sort... erm...
boring? i still love it...
but... it can truly exhaust the attention span
of a man who... likes nothing better
than cycling on a roundabout in heavy
traffic... the closer i am to a truck that might mown me
down silly... the more thrilling life becomes...
and if it rains... it rains to a ******* laughter!
give me sleet, to boot!

i will not write anything spectacular tonight,
i'm only writing to keep up my own stamina...
i don't feel it, whatever "it" there is to feel...
i've been put of when listen to this one video:
fake numbers...
this one video had this many shares,
this many likes... the views where up there
in the category of: Wembley stadium...
i look at it via...
look how many of us are out there...
some subscribe to readership,
some, to voyeurism...
liking something make you... less anonymous...
i like high view counts & low response queues...

i value my privacy... i don't need gold stars
i don't need a public involvement to the point
where i might have to engage in conversation
with them...
say paparazzi about twenty times...
before you cough up Hugo Boss designed
the **** uniforms... my god...
the most pedantic army know to man...
what?! i can't admire their attire?
i'd love a black Wehrmacht uniform...
this steward business: shepherding people,
organising people to enjoy a spectacle is one thing...
i love it... but... i'm already ambitious enough
to be looking out for... more responsibility...
that's the thing with work... you always: want:
more!

Fulham was cancelled today,
hope for Oxford on the 29th & be placed
on the turnstiles, interacting with little boys...
a ******* caged gorilla...
last time i thought about fame
i was reminded by my pursuit of longevity...
i want to cheat a little bit of time...
ha ha! perhaps even wrestle Horace...
i won't even mention the H'americans...
fame... in its immediacy...
a waste of time... those that achieve it don't /
haven't really worked for it...
it's a self-given... load of *******...
sure... i want to be famous...
when i'm dead... in the meantime i want
to live my life... plan your life like that...
think about life after you're expired...

oh i'm pretty sure i'll be leaving something
behind...
but it's not like... Shakespeare is all that...
sure... Macbeth... the crowning example...
but... beside that? do i really need to pretend to be
an English teacher brown-nosing my time
over that sack of ****?!

come to think of it... i imagine myself being
the sort of person that... would find it, rather:
impossible to be rich... i think that being rich would bore me...
i'd have to escape into perversity,
i'd have to escape toward eclectic tastes...
Against Nature, the character of:
Jean des Esseintes...
point being i can do... all the things he does...
in essence... because i cut corners...
i can... do almost everything he does:
without the access of money...
and... i'm all the more happier for it!
beside money as being used for essentials...
i see no purpose for it...

like?! you'd sooner find me dead than
ordering something from UBER eats...
lazy, *******... *****! go to the shop!
yourself!
i don't want money, i don't want yachts...
sure... i might require a ******* once
every half a decade when one of my cats
stiches my eyes firmly poised at her raised
**** of an *** while grooming her...
but only then... when someone ancient is woken...
me... i want the perpetual night,
the perpetual winter... the perpetual struggle!
that, is, what, i... want!