I crave the chaos
That occurs within the walls of this hospital
Code reds and heart monitors feel calmer
Then my mind when I clock out
Nowadays I walk around with a bike helmet
Because no one can convince me that the sky is not falling
I prefer the uncertainty of life and death
Over a tug-o-war of agony and euphoria
But just as every fever breaks
I will eventually find the bottom of my bottomless pit
Maybe one day I will take off my scrubs
And not be afraid of what waits for me outside the automatic doors