35 years from now
you drinking in a bar
only thinking"How?"

you begin to remember
back to that year,
in november.

that day in november,
you will always remember.
how could you not
you are the reason after all
why she would bawl.

sunday night,
he left you 6 messages
and called 9 times.

with no answer from you
her lips ended in blue.
but this time,
it's 12:02.

morning of monday,
it was her birthday.

35 years later,
head in hands,
asking "why did i let her?'

october,
she called your name.
but you claimed
it was just a game.

then came early november
you can help but remember
how she asked for your hand,
but said you had other plans.

her end came nearer
and not until now
do you see clearer.
not until after did you notice
her absence of laughter.

today,
is her birthday.
and every year
you have too many beers
and add one more regret
starting with the day we met.

'if i never said hello,
and you never said hi,
you wouldn't have to say
goodbye."

today, you have 35 regrets.
today you have another
reason to fret.

35 years later,
you still don't see.
what made her
do all these terrible things.

but deep down,
you really know.
if you hadn't said
"i wish i didn't say hello",
she would still
be alive, and not ill.

if you hadn't been so mean,
she would've been alive
to celebrate her turning eighteen.