sometimes, no, almost always: you need to feel like
a tool, to feel you're alive!
for the greater good, for the higher purpose....
so long i attempted a solo project:
and what did that bring me? despair!
no more!

manchmal, nein, fast immer: du brauchen zu
fühlen wie ein werkzeug, gefühl du bist leben!
für die / der(?) größer gut, für die höherzwieck...

die zeppeline ar kommen!
die zeppeline ar kommen!
            even if i could express some things in English...
i would most certainly substitute them with:
a historical bias of etymology...
they're called the Anglo-Saxons for a a reason...
they're not called the Anglo-Swabians...
or the Anglo-Pomeranians...

i'm no ******* native, at best i could pass off as
a spy... for whom? open answers... anyone
& everyone... working a football match ground:
i'm pretty sure there's a hierarchy of those involved...
i like this indoctrination ito how things, "things" work...

i will speak, try to, German whenever i think
the English language has done a "runner" scenario...
when the minority is overtaking the majority...
we can't have minority subjects of the crown subjugating
the majority of the crown to their ******* "instigations"
of law revisionism...
can we?
        
             i will drift into vaterzunge from time to time...
because... speaking English in England is...
hardly enough... learning some Romanian helps....
some Serb might too... but my most prized asset
is... writing some gibberish in Deutsch(e)...

for me it's a learning curve... to boot....
i stroke my beard, pretend to plasy a violin...
everyone's happy... they get to go home safely....
while i get enough hours of drinking and writing
to satiate my hunger for...
the sort of conversations i will, never, ever have with others:
rather, i will have to have them with, myself:
within the confines of myself ...

beard.. patriarch figurine... i love it... it's so little, yet it's so much....
when in ***** i was referred to a woman as a man...
mind the man, insert a girl's name...
i think i became a man... overnight...
prior to i was invisible... prior to i had
merely ***-bush decorating my face...
apparently no stubble...
now... now i look somewhat presentable,
formidable... authority stricken....
even though i'm still merely a pawn...
sure... but a pawn with a narrative...
look at me... why am i so content?
perhaps... because i'm living in split platitudes...

whatever the reason.... i'm not the drunk cowering
in his foothills of his own demise at a bus-stop,
i haven't eaten since 1:30am... i'm devouring a two piece
chicken, fries & drink very much sober, waiting
for the ladt bus to take me home...

i worked, even though working didn't feel much like working...
just minding the spectators...
i'm a bachelor... i'm freed from obligations...
i write sparingly, in my spare time...
if i'm not happy... then i shouldn't be alive... period...
i also allow myself to drink excessively...
i could be dead come tomorrow,
and you know what?
i might blink... "think" otherwise...
but, at the same time, would i really, have to?

my answer resounds within the echoed confines
of... NO.

for all the excesses of compliance...
submission to a hierarchy,
i would have never, thought myself, being:
a compliant pawn...
then again... when implored with the stature
of "mandatory":
to put on a face mask while using public transport...
sorry... no...
once upon a time...
die *******... die...
of the people that most espouse Darwinism...
seeing them cower from the harsh realities
they have discovered is... rather...
heartbreaking...
no... by the number, you will die...

i ca comply, sure, to a certain extent...
but you try to put that secular niqab muzzle on
me... choke me with "pretend"
like i'm sort of waiting to be a dying horse...
while the staff perform action Z to my "X"...
you have another "thing" coming...
**** with your compliance...
i like to keep things under the cushions...
but... cushions are missing...
i'm done playing along with "your" narrative...
mandatory is one thing...
another implies: i feel... choked by the donning
of the supposed fakery...
bake me a loaf! you ******* integers! of pseudo-fact!

no one in position of authority is going around
checking chokers...
some good-to-go bypass citizens will approach you
with concerns... blah blah... ignore them....

time for "authority" is over... time for... everything "else"...
is most certainly upon us;
try to not mind the quote is... fire! fire! shouted by a clown
in a crowded theatre!