it’s happening again i’m sinking farther into my bed i can’t seem to get myself to wash my hair i don’t even stand in the shower anymore i let the water fall down my body i’m just going through the motions again hoping i’ll just drown in my tears but i can’t seem to cry maybe if i leave the laundry on the floor it’ll pick itself up and get in the washer maybe if i leave my bed unmade it’ll eventually make itself can’t seem to get myself to make food the hunger pains greet me with open arms maybe tonight i won’t go home to an empty house i hope my boyfriend doesn’t get tired of me i miss my mom again i’m spending far too long in the bathroom instead of going back out and facing the nothingness i have somehow trapped myself in again i really wish it wasn’t happening again