I don’t want a relationship right now
Right?
I keep telling myself that
Because I’m tired
I have no energy to keep up with anyone other than myself
And even then it’s hard
I tell myself that i should wait
Because im moving away in two years,
And what’s the point in loving someone when you know you’re going to leave?
I tell myself
That I don’t even know what love is
And that much is true.

But I just wish I had someone
Pull me close when im sad
Hold my hand when im scared
and give me someone to love

I just want someone to share the simple joys of life with
To drive around town at midnight with
To sing off key without a care with
To snuggle up next to and look at the stars with

I tell myself I don’t want a relationship
Then I meet people
And make up our love story
And allow myself to live through it, if only in my head
I let myself love them
But it’s one sided, they never know
Then sadness overtakes me
Because I think I love them (but who am I to know what love is?)
I know a few people
Who might like me
But like isn’t love
And I dont know how to tell the difference

I just wish I knew
How to know a boy without inevitably obsessing over him
How to tell when a smile is special or not
How to tell if he likes me

I don’t want a relationship right now…
Right?