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Nov 2021
Bye bye, I just want to die.
I’m eating myself but I’ll never ever be satisfied in here.
Is there a place where I can feel save?
Is there a time for me to feel free?
Can I let go, really fall backwards?
Nobody believes the fall when they see it.
I’ll just be dropping down in the middle of the street.
But instead of being injured I’ll burst into a thousand pieces.
And nobody would find them.
It keeps on happening.
Almost every day.

Bye bye, I just want to die!
But instead I break, I shake, I fly in a thousand pieces.
And at night I drop down but not to rest well, just to collect the pieces.
As well as I can.
Nobody can find me.
Sometimes somebody finds a piece.
Thank you so much, let me give you this one.
Be gentle please but just fly with me.
In the end we say: bye bye.

I just want to die.
Nice to be out of this feeling for some time.
Everyone can only have a piece, never fully me.
And there are too many pieces flying and falling around now.
I don’t know where I can go.
I have no save place.
Feed me freedom.
I’m starving.
I’m lying all around the cold floor.
Nobody can see.
They’re just walking on like me in this mess.
I’m the mess, my world is in pieces all the time.
I can’t collect myself.
I’m flying around.
You can’t hold me, keep me ever, anywhere, inside, outside, upside down.
Bursting all the time.
Bye bye, I just fly, bye bye, I just want to die.

But all the pieces keep flying and I’m never ready to find them and burry them all.
I’m so tired.
I can’t hide.
I can’t find the pieces inside to stop myself from flying.
To finally say: bye bye, I’m just gonna die!
19-11-21
Zeena Miedema
Written by
Zeena Miedema  32/F/Gouda(NL)
(32/F/Gouda(NL))   
191
     CZ
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