Jan 2022
As my world burns ........
This....episode...the lost love......
I . .....scene 1.
As the crestpucular rays .....
One by one
Fracture thick brooding horizon.....
With a lascivious quickness
Devoured the darkness.......
For a brief moment.
A rare ......
Precious glorious brief moment .....
Before reality set in .....
I barricaded every pathway
Held it with my life...
As I lay there on that beach ...the cool refreshing waters....gently
Caressed my bare feet......
I watched without a single thought ......
Slowly.......and like it shall ever be........
Dull views began to ripen ..the dew and wet rock glistened .
I watched .....
I listened......I heard Spanish musica .....
I smelled the ocean...
I heard a whale breach spitting mist.....the a low crushing splash........
I could hear the sand under water sanding the ocean floor ...I watched
I viewed as
Charged particles emmited from the nuclear fission still twinkling touch down after millions of mile journey.........
Instantly caused colors to bloom and .....the warmth layed on top of me like a giddy girlfriend.......
I smirked...
..a tear of great
Humbling greatfulnes .....
Like a fat happy dollop of honey dropped off my chin .......
A hot seductive wind ......came in
Overwhelming with the smell of paella.......
The fragrance of a small handfuls of fresh saffron......and I swear I could taste warm sangria......
Empty minded ..I lay there and smiled ....an almost feeling as though embarrassed to have all this lavished upon me........
Undeservedly...
....... I heard an albatross .....
Barricade cracked ..... My mind .... Started to force me to think .....
I heard a gunshot........
Saw clouds ...... The wind breezed sand into my ears.....
The colors faded .......... The water was freezing ...... And smelled like death ........ My breath stank ....... I felt a raindrop.......
My body felt heavy ..... My chest hurt ........
I looked up ......
Lightning cracked through the sky ..........
Just one thought .....
At first ........ One.
Just ............
Who am I .......
When the thunder exploded above my ...... I saw .......
The blood........
My eyes rolled back .........
Involuntary
Flashback.........
Too many questions answered at once .........
And I was back at the ranch.......
I could smell gunpowder
And the thunder clap ....couldn't escape the canyon.............
That dam albatross .........
Albatross ......
Brought me back from the flashback.......
Im alive ........
Am I still me.....
Where am i?
How...am. I....?
.how di...d
I.... ......
Paranoia like a murderous nervous unfamiliar house guest.....
Sinking in
The albatross and another ......chimed in ......... As I lay there paralyzed.......
Little poisonous pieces of memory.....
An Im terrified......
Thinking ......
Thinking ....
Thinking
Where is she.....
Does she know I'm alive?
Does she know .. where .. sky's black and grey waves out of rythem and foamy.......
Another lightning flash . Hits the sand right in front of me .......
Just behind ......... Her .... Her makeup smeared ... Face grimaced.... Soaking wet ..
.lifts an axe ..... Screams and swings at my head ........
Just as the blade....
I'm alone again ........ I'm ... In my bed.......
I hear a voice clearly it says.....0
Meanwhile back at the ranch......
...........................
This....episode...the lost love......
I . .....scene 1.
As the crestpucular rays .....
One by one
Fracture thick brooding horizon.....
With a lascivious quickness
Devoured the darkness.......
For a brief moment.
A rare ......
Precious glorious brief moment .....
Before reality set in .....
I barricaded every pathway
Held it with my life...
As I lay there on that beach ...the cool refreshing waters....gently
Caressed my bare feet......
I watched without a single thought ......
Slowly.......and like it shall ever be........
Dull views began to ripen ..the dew and wet rock glistened .
I watched .....
I listened......I heard Spanish musica .....
I smelled the ocean...
I heard a whale breach spitting mist.....the a low crushing splash........
I could hear the sand under water sanding the ocean floor ...I watched
I viewed as
Charged particles emmited from the nuclear fission still twinkling touch down after millions of mile journey.........
Instantly caused colors to bloom and .....the warmth layed on top of me like a giddy girlfriend.......
I smirked...
..a tear of great
Humbling greatfulnes .....
Like a fat happy dollop of honey dropped off my chin .......
A hot seductive wind ......came in
Overwhelming with the smell of paella.......
The fragrance of a small handfuls of fresh saffron......and I swear I could taste warm sangria......
Empty minded ..I lay there and smiled ....an almost feeling as though embarrassed to have all this lavished upon me........
Undeservedly...
....... I heard an albatross .....
Barricade cracked ..... My mind .... Started to force me to think .....
I heard a gunshot........
Saw clouds ...... The wind breezed sand into my ears.....
The colors faded .......... The water was freezing ...... And smelled like death ........ My breath stank ....... I felt a raindrop.......
My body felt heavy ..... My chest hurt ........
I looked up ......
Lightning cracked through the sky ..........
Just one thought .....
At first ........ One.
Just ............
Who am I .......
When the thunder exploded above my ...... I saw .......
The blood........
My eyes rolled back .........
Involuntary
Flashback.........
Too many questions answered at once .........
And I was back at the ranch.......
I could smell gunpowder
And the thunder clap ....couldn't escape the canyon.............
That dam albatross .........
Albatross ......
Brought me back from the flashback.......
Im alive ........
Am I still me.....
Where am i?
How...am. I....?
.how di...d
I.... ......
Paranoia like a murderous nervous unfamiliar house guest.....
Sinking in
The albatross and another ......chimed in ......... As I lay there paralyzed.......
Little poisonous pieces of memory.....
An Im terrified......
Thinking ......
Thinking ....
Thinking
Where is she.....
Does she know I'm alive?
Does she know .. where .. sky's black and grey waves out of rythem and foamy.......
Another lightning flash . Hits the sand right in front of me .......
Just behind ......... Her .... Her makeup smeared ... Face grimaced.... Soaking wet ..
.lifts an axe ..... Screams and swings at my head ........
Just as the blade....
I'm alone again ........ I'm ... In my bed.......
I hear a voice clearly it says.....0
Meanwhile back at the ranch......
...........................
Years have flowed over me as I lay upon the bottom . ... Waiting , wanting.......
Wondering ....
Why can't I,
When will,
How can I ,?
Could I ?
Should I
. .can I ever love another without ........ Her .........
I wonder if Im
Somehow telepathically connected .... To her........
I find some one .... Things get good ..... I feel . New .... Normal ..... Happy?
Idk bout that but it gets easier to pretend ...
And like clockwork ...... She calls .......... We talk .......
I self sabatoge ....
We hang out a few weeks... And
I get peeled off the bottom of her shoe.......... And won't answer text or call .......... Always working ....
.. vicious cyclpathic toxins ...meanwhile back at the ranch ....... ... ..... ......
Wondering ....
Why can't I,
When will,
How can I ,?
Could I ?
Should I
. .can I ever love another without ........ Her .........
I wonder if Im
Somehow telepathically connected .... To her........
I find some one .... Things get good ..... I feel . New .... Normal ..... Happy?
Idk bout that but it gets easier to pretend ...
And like clockwork ...... She calls .......... We talk .......
I self sabatoge ....
We hang out a few weeks... And
I get peeled off the bottom of her shoe.......... And won't answer text or call .......... Always working ....
.. vicious cyclpathic toxins ...meanwhile back at the ranch ....... ... ..... ......
