I thought I was

a hopeless romantic

so blinded by what you called

my own fantasy,

sometimes i feel like i made your love up.

You were here enough

for me to stay within your reach

but i lost grasp of myself

because you werent there to hold my hand.

why do you only say you love me?

when i needed you to show me.

silly little girl

holding onto hopeful words

beautiful and real in the moment.

It’s a push and pull

based on adapting to you.

i reach beyond myself

for a drop of your attention,

losing myself

because i offer it all for

exchange of maybes

and no promises.

and its not worth

the suffering that

you think ill get through.

I lost grasp of myself

lying to myself I am okay

putting your love before mine.

I’ll miss you regardless

of the existences of Us,

might as well save myself

from your inconsistent love.