You probably have no clue
How much you hurt me
And besides
Would you even care
If you knew

Like when we were together
You did not
So now I have a deep cavern
And time fades
Memories become surreal

Edges smooth down
Remembering that
‘It wasn’t so bad’
The good times win out
Because your arms felt good

Forgetting your cruelty
The carving of my soul
Losing who I was
Becoming a droid
of your making

As I wake up
Those events were a dream
Right?
They fade into my ether
When I think of your warm body

Is that what I miss?
Just your sinew and skin
The smell of your presence
Because your actions
Did not feel good

And your inaction—
That felt lonely
Or your lack of
communication
Felt like a windowless room

I will cling to those memories
To recall your disgust
They make me stronger
In my resolve
Becoming myself again

And again