if i could do what i loved, i'd have time to create and time to play
and time to rest and time to be busy without feeling busy.
if i could be myself, i'd have space to love and space to laugh
and space to cry and space to **** and be ****** like there's no tomorrow.
if i could be honest, i'd have close friends and close colleagues
and close family and enough real people that they'd make me real too.

no.

no one has time for everything and everything balanced.
if i could be perfect i would be perfect
doesn't everyone wish to be perfect?
but every disappointment and fear makes a richer tapestry
every loneliness and heartache makes a better listener
every slight and loss makes a stronger heart and mind

no.

not richer and stronger,
damaged and struggling,
hopeless
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