As I am lying here awake again
Torn between self-hatred and existential conundrums
I again find myself wondering
What the point of it all is
Why I have to suffer
Day in
Day out

What could be worth
All this agony
And I know what is
But I also know
That it will never happen
I see nothing in my future
But a miserable blank space
Devoid of happiness
Drained of all colour