What hurts the most is that I don't know how she feels.
What hurts the most is that it always ends the same.
What hurts the most are the million broken sentences flooding my mind.
What hurts the most is that she hurts deeper.

It came to me in a dream, this thing. It came to me in a dream amidst the mountain jumping and tree growing. Came like devastation. Something so world shaking as to knock me from my feet and shatter what I had thought I'd known. and how to say it? when to broach it? could I have done it better?

It was a kiss which sealed the royal decree.
that fair weather friend of uncertainty.
a pistol shot through meat and bone
to liquify my straining soul.

no one. not again.

I am too good to be true.
that little cure for wellness.
A mirror edge’d nothing of my own immaturity.
A smooth and shapeless form waiting to be fed
the venom of an

Heat rising
inflating the folds of my brain to disastrous proportions
Arms and legs numb, pounding.
Hands climbing the walls of my throat.

I shouldn’t have offered. I recognize that. It was done for the same reasons as the spider-bridge remark. Too scared am I of all of this; my mechanisms joking and sarcastic. Moving faster backwards than towards a conclusion.

and as I sit, trying so hard to think
knowing that you're waiting on my words
the music grows louder.
louder.
blotting out any other thought and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
You are waiting on me and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
and I'm burning and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

a week turns into millenia, turns into hours, turns into one. one moment, one beat.
one drag of the eraser.

no words will make it better. this confession has meant nothing.
It's ******. I ****** it.
No more.