Dec 2021
Here we go again . . .
December 31st 2021, sitting by the fire pit, surrounded by the dark clear sky of Utah. "This is the first time I truly feel happy. The first time I don't want to go to sleep and NOT wake up in the morning."
The next day my husky Nikko dies.
He was old, very old.
This year has been, not great.
First my rabbit Gizmo dies, a digestion issue.
Two months later my Chihuahua, Dexter dies.
He was old, congestive heart failure.
Four months later and Nikko passes.
One month later and now our last furry family member, Jazmine.
She has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and is showing similar signs as Dexter did.
Did you know if you die all of your federal student loans
are discharged. That means no one has to pay them back. Lucky
me, I only have federal student loans. Sixty thousand dollars my husband and cosigners wouldn't have to worry about.
One week before Christmas break and I lost my job.
Nothing on me, just how things go I guess.
I'm still on great terms with my boss.
Student loan repayment plans starts up in February and I just lost my job.
What I am I going to do?
Whose lives would change if I just died?
I live across the country and don't talk to my family.
Nothing would change there.
We have virtual game nights, but I don't contribute to the
conversation. I usually just put my foot in my mouth.
Nothing would really change there.
My husbands family doesn't even like me.
They would probably be happy for their son to marry someone better. "Someone good for him".
My husband, oh how much I love him.
His life would change vastly. He would be sad for a little while but then he would move on. He could do everything he wanted. It was MY dream to move around the country. Not his. He could finally put roots down in the town we are living in or move back home to rekindle roots with old friends. He could do what ever he wants and not have to take my feelings into consideration, at all.
His life would change. He would be happier.
December 31st 2021, sitting by the fire pit, surrounded by the dark clear sky of Utah. "This is the first time I truly feel happy. The first time I don't want to go to sleep and NOT wake up in the morning."
The next day my husky Nikko dies.
He was old, very old.
This year has been, not great.
First my rabbit Gizmo dies, a digestion issue.
Two months later my Chihuahua, Dexter dies.
He was old, congestive heart failure.
Four months later and Nikko passes.
One month later and now our last furry family member, Jazmine.
She has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and is showing similar signs as Dexter did.
Did you know if you die all of your federal student loans
are discharged. That means no one has to pay them back. Lucky
me, I only have federal student loans. Sixty thousand dollars my husband and cosigners wouldn't have to worry about.
One week before Christmas break and I lost my job.
Nothing on me, just how things go I guess.
I'm still on great terms with my boss.
Student loan repayment plans starts up in February and I just lost my job.
What I am I going to do?
Whose lives would change if I just died?
I live across the country and don't talk to my family.
Nothing would change there.
We have virtual game nights, but I don't contribute to the
conversation. I usually just put my foot in my mouth.
Nothing would really change there.
My husbands family doesn't even like me.
They would probably be happy for their son to marry someone better. "Someone good for him".
My husband, oh how much I love him.
His life would change vastly. He would be sad for a little while but then he would move on. He could do everything he wanted. It was MY dream to move around the country. Not his. He could finally put roots down in the town we are living in or move back home to rekindle roots with old friends. He could do what ever he wants and not have to take my feelings into consideration, at all.
His life would change. He would be happier.
