Cold it’s so cold out here outside
In the atmosphere of icy isolation
The exile an inevitable consequence
Of a life built on dishonesty
Each tiny falling snowflake
A reminder of past mistakes
I catch them as they drift downwards
If only the memories would melt as easily
Icicles poised to pierce the lie
If I should dare to utter it
In a brazen moment of self denial
Of the life of deceit I have been living
Body shaking world shaking
Shivering denizen of nightmare
Thin layers of reality no protection
Against the demons stalking my sanity
Along these deserted alleyways
Claws ready to shred my soul
Exposing the rotten core to the chill
Feasting gluttonously on the fear
Never to be sated
It will never be enough

Light there is light up ahead
Seeping out onto the street
Frosty cobblestones sparkling
Reflecting back the starry points
A rainbow concealing a *** of hope
That spills out into the mist
What stops me from picking up that hope
And tucking it into my coat pocket
Safely stowed for the future
Precious protection from my misery
Windows with opaque glass
Divided by dark leaded lines
Tall imposing red brick walls
Patterned with black beams
A wooden door studded with wrought iron
Invite me to share the comforting warmth within
But my frozen hand cannot turn the handle
An alien stranger vacuum sealed
Trapped in a foggy miasma of pain
Unable yet to grasp her freedom
Cut off from a happiness
She does not yet desire or deserve