Forgive me,
For I have failed you.
I cannot spare the kindness
You so desperately deserve.
My words are vicious
And biting, as I dig deep
At the flaws I see.

I was trying to be better than this,
But somehow it’s got twisted
And I can’t see the good,
The positive,
The righteous.

I am judgement,
Where I should be patience and understanding.
I am bitter,
Where I should be light and thoughtful.

I am dismissive.
I am cruel.

I am disappointed.

I am not proud of my behaviour,
Or my attitude.
But proper apologies aren’t ready yet.
I don’t have the words,
I haven’t processed this fully.

I am all rage
And no reason.

I will try to find my way back to myself
Then maybe, with clear thoughts,
I can try again.