I am now sitting cross-legged on the grass,
And it starts to rain.
Slowly my dry hair is heavy with water
And my clothes are soaked through.
My cell-phone is in my pocket,
And I know that soon the water will reach it's center battery
And it will die.

This knowledge doesn't bother me, but even now,
I hope that the last of the tiny phone's electric breathe
Will let out a vibration, telling me I have received a message,
And I keep hoping it is from him.

....

Each time we conversed of an end
I was so quick to tell him that love was the strongest and not to worry.
I wasn't thinking of what was best for him, or me,
I was only thinking of what I wanted.

I hear many people say I am mature for my age.
I am mature in somethings.
But not everything.

....

Recently my mother told me,
"Sometimes we need a big shock to open our eyes, to help us move our feet forward."

I understand that now.

He always said he knew what would be best for me,
And whenever he did I would be get angry and tell him that no one knew.
I wouldn't listen to what he said.
I would fight it before all the words were formed,
Because I didn't want to let go.
I didn't want to wait for a future that might have us in it,
I wanted that future to be now.  

All the advise he gave me was for our own good.
By fighting and fighting it I brought an ugly end to our friendship.

This has been the biggest lesson of my life,
And though it is hard, this is how things go.
We make mistakes, many times repeat them, and then we have to face them.

I am looking into the window of my room,
Where on the sill there stands his painting.
I am the white and pink flower.
He is the golden and black bee.
He has wings, and he must use them to fly.
I have a stem, and for a little while longer I must grow taller.
One day I will break apart into little seedlings and the wind will carry me through the air,
And then, then is when I may fly beside him.